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Question
Posted by: Sipho | 2012/08/28

Lost interest in sex

Dear Doc

Ever since I got pregnant, I lost interest in sex and now my baby is 10 months old and I still don''t want to have sex. I lost interest in men as well. I last had sex with my then patner when I was about 5 months pregnant and even then he forced me to and we broke up because of it. Now, I haven''t had sex in 14 months. I don''t wanna rush into it and I also feel like it won''t be right since I am breastfeeding. I do get aroused though and used to help myself and the orgasm would last maybe 2seconds but now I don''t even like doing that no more. I still get aroused but I do nothing. The problem is lately I have been getting aroused a lot and I still don''t like the idea of someone penetrating me hence I am single. I am just so confused.

Is this normal?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Hi Sipho

The time after a pregnancy can be one of great change. It sounds like you have experienced the changes that come with a baby, and that which comes with losing a relationship. These can be unsettling times that can interfere with your idea of yourself as a sexual person. Breastfeeding, having a baby around you all the time, the changes in your body, sleeplessness and fatigue may all make you feel less sexy. Breastfeeding may also cause a low interest in sex because of the hormones that get stimulated by it. When you stop breastfeeding (don’t do it for this reason!) you may find your sexual interest increasing.

I am also wondering if you have not been sad, or experiencing some feelings of depression. It is not unusual for women to feel very low in the months after having a baby. If this is the case, then see your doctor…you may be suffering with a post-natal depression. This can be treated.

You mention that you don’t like the idea of someone penetrating you. Perhaps you are wary of a new relationship, or protecting yourself at a time when you are vulnerable, especially with a new baby to look after.

What is important to know, is that it is normal to experience a decrease in sexual interest during the year after pregnancy. Nothing you have said strikes me as abnormal. Go easy on yourself, enjoy your baby, and remember to give yourself time. Treat your body well and keep up a feeling of being sexual.

Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: sexologist | 2012/08/29

Hi Sipho

The time after a pregnancy can be one of great change. It sounds like you have experienced the changes that come with a baby, and that which comes with losing a relationship. These can be unsettling times that can interfere with your idea of yourself as a sexual person. Breastfeeding, having a baby around you all the time, the changes in your body, sleeplessness and fatigue may all make you feel less sexy. Breastfeeding may also cause a low interest in sex because of the hormones that get stimulated by it. When you stop breastfeeding (don’t do it for this reason!) you may find your sexual interest increasing.

I am also wondering if you have not been sad, or experiencing some feelings of depression. It is not unusual for women to feel very low in the months after having a baby. If this is the case, then see your doctor…you may be suffering with a post-natal depression. This can be treated.

You mention that you don’t like the idea of someone penetrating you. Perhaps you are wary of a new relationship, or protecting yourself at a time when you are vulnerable, especially with a new baby to look after.

What is important to know, is that it is normal to experience a decrease in sexual interest during the year after pregnancy. Nothing you have said strikes me as abnormal. Go easy on yourself, enjoy your baby, and remember to give yourself time. Treat your body well and keep up a feeling of being sexual.

Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru. For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com.

Reply to sexologist
Posted by: Sipho | 2012/08/28

Just to add

I have also been under tremendous amounts of stress and have been on anti-depressants since last year December and well, things just got worse from there. Anti-depressants didn''t quite help since stuff just kept happening to depress me even more. I have been advised to seek councilling and to go for a head physio. But I have just never been very much interested in sex hence never had an orgasm during sex.

Am I normal?

Reply to Sipho

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