Our expert says:
Of course it's not disrespectful for you to speak English to them, any more than it is disrespectful for them to insist on you speaking Afrikaans. In fact, less so, as it's customary in most cultures, to do all you can to make your guest feel at home and to feel comfortable.
A counsellor of the CBT sort might be able to help you to relax deliberately when you feel you need to, and to stop enabling them to push the switches that make you feel awkward.
Also, you can discuss this with your bf, so he can explain to his family, that (a) it is their duty within their own cultural traditions to do far more to make a guest feel at home, and (b) that you are fluent in Afrikaans but find it hard to be so when nervous, and they have been making you feel nervous.
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