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Question
Posted by: Nontokozo | 2010/05/26

Lost, In the dark

I dont know whether its because I want to know everything in the house or what I want advise for. I am staying with my husband and his 2 daughters, they discuss everything with their father and I am left nowhere or this right or wrong, today the other you know what I dont know whether its wrong or right today we all woke up washed and the other one went to school and the other one was left, when I was just about to go to the car I asked the father whether her daughter is going or not going to school he just said that she said she will go late because they are writing and off we went, I dont want to ask anything about her daughters anymore because I can see that he has taught them that he is the only person they need to contact if they want anything regardless of whether they want to go out to friends, are not going to school or anything, what must I do, I know you will advise that I should talk to him I have talked to him several times but it is not working and more they are now going out to their aunts what should I do I have decided that it would be wise if we can take the daughters back to where they came from and then we can start our lives afresh, is this wise.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder what happened in this group before you joined them - maybe the bio-mother was very ineffective in caring for her children, so the father grew used to doing it all himself and the kids grew used to looking only to him for advice and help. Maybe marriage counselling is needed to help him recognize that you are a different and more capable woman, and that you need to be both respected and involved ( and at least informed )in the care of the children.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/26

I wonder what happened in this group before you joined them - maybe the bio-mother was very ineffective in caring for her children, so the father grew used to doing it all himself and the kids grew used to looking only to him for advice and help. Maybe marriage counselling is needed to help him recognize that you are a different and more capable woman, and that you need to be both respected and involved ( and at least informed )in the care of the children.

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