Posted by: AYANDA | 2012-08-29


I''ve been in a relationship with my boyfriend(now ex) for 2 years in April ,we were the ''perfect'' couple although we had many ups and downs but we alway found a way to fix our problem nd have our love coming out stronger.Before we broke up I was tired of the fact that I slept at his house almost everyday because i was at work during the day nd busy with cooking and cleaning when i came home and the time we had for each other was at night but he wanted to have sex all the time and i was getting miserable and it made me tired at work.I had a outburst and told him i felt like his prostitude he was really hurt and he said if he didn''t please me enought then i should just dump him out of anger i did we spoke while he took me home but i was too hurt and angry it was April then since he had a galfriend a month after but told me he wanted to be with me I was so hurt i had a guy i was having casual sex with he was also angry when he found out i''m not dating anyone just having sex with this other guy(always using protection) and i also still have sex with my ex,i feel confused i think i did the right thing ending things with my ex but i miss him because he was a huge part of my life he tells me he misses me sumtyms but i feel if he really loved me then he wouldn''t let us break-up (maybe he feels the same way) am i wrong for thinking there is a chance for me and him some where out there because he is the only person that makes me feel something out of this world or should i just try and move on thou its difficult and wait until i get someone like him in the future...

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

HI Ayanda
Your problem is a relationship problem, not really a sexual one, though they have a sexual aspect to them.
The issues you raise include showing mutual consideration for each other, communication of your needs and expressing anger in a non-destructive way. Above all, I can see that your challenge is to know what is good and healthy for you, and make firm decisions about these. In this way, you will know who you are, what you stand for, and will not be victimised within a relationship.

It’s not acceptable for anyone to misrepresent themselves or put others at risk of sexually transmitted diseases, so it’s best to be upfront and honest if you are having sex with multiple partners simultaneously.

Continuing to have sex with your ex-boyfriend is likely to confuse you, and prevent you from keeping clear boundaries and from moving on. Hard as it may be, if your ex has gotten on with his life, and the two of you cannot see a way forward together, then it is time to move on – completely.

Anthony – SASHA. For further information please consult SASHA’S website at For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Patience | 2012-08-30

O so the guy''s a cheater. You left him because he just demanded sex and you were tired, but you said you have a guy you are having casual sex with. So you cant do without it, but only on your terms, I think he is better off without you.

Reply to Patience
Posted by: Anon | 2012-08-30

Something that''s not quite clear from your post - Your ex starting dating another woman a month after you two broke up, is he still seeing her now? While you are still sleeping with him? Is she aware of this?

This man sounds absolutely horrible to me, why would you want to go back? Maybe the good vs. bad aspects of the relationship doesn''t seem so disporpostional now, but try to remember that you don''t have to deal with the bad things (that made you end it) on a daily basis anymore.

What I gathered from you post about this man:
Possibly a cheater and most likely screwed around with an innocent lady''s feelings while still telling you he wants to be with you - not the kind of quality you want in a partner. He sounds selfish and inconsiderate from what you posted, not at all as if he ever tried to accomodate you. He didn''t try to mend things or offer any comprises ( such as helping with chores or spending more time at your house so that you can get more done there), it took him a full month to move on but he is still more than willing to jump in bed with you now..

You can do better, don''t you think?

Also one last thing, not meaning to sound judgemental or preachy but no form protection is 100% safe, sleeping with two different people who might both have any number of other partners is more than just risky. If you don''t want to stop seeing/talking to your ex for the sake of your heart, do it for the sake of your health.

Reply to Anon

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.