advertisement
Question
Posted by: lawlah amen | 2010/05/11

losing virginity

just got married and i and my spouse dont know how to go about having our first sex.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

There is no 'procedure' as such, and it may be that the hymen (the film of skin at the entrance to the vagina) has already been broken through physical activity or use of tampons. So the 'breaking the virginity' is more of a psychological 'barrier'. First time intercourse needs to be slow and gentle - go at her pace and encourage her to give you feedback. This is the first time she will have felt these feelings and so it might feel strange - hopefully nice strange. Ideally she will be aroused and therefore well lubricated, but if not, it could help to have some lubricant available to reduce friction which could cause pain. If she experiences discomfort, stop where you are and encourage her to relax, perhaps take the focus off penetration for a while and then continue when she feels comfortable. As it is the first time, don't expect her to necessarily experience orgasm from penetration - this is a whole new part of her sexual response that she will have to get to know, understand, and explore.

As for whether she needs time to recover - take her lead too, if it was painful, then it may be that she wants some time, but see what she says. Sometimes a woman will bleed slightly after the first time, this is quite normal and she may or may not be in discomfort. It may well be that it is not painful and she wishes to try again. Try not to make the focus of your intimacy penetration - remember the other sexual activities and sensual touches you are likely to have done together before now and don't stop doing these.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Charl | 2010/05/11

Shame, suppose your honymoon was quite boring

Reply to Charl
Posted by: Anon | 2010/05/11

Are you male or female? Assume that you both are virgins.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: sexologist | 2010/05/11

There is no 'procedure' as such, and it may be that the hymen (the film of skin at the entrance to the vagina) has already been broken through physical activity or use of tampons. So the 'breaking the virginity' is more of a psychological 'barrier'. First time intercourse needs to be slow and gentle - go at her pace and encourage her to give you feedback. This is the first time she will have felt these feelings and so it might feel strange - hopefully nice strange. Ideally she will be aroused and therefore well lubricated, but if not, it could help to have some lubricant available to reduce friction which could cause pain. If she experiences discomfort, stop where you are and encourage her to relax, perhaps take the focus off penetration for a while and then continue when she feels comfortable. As it is the first time, don't expect her to necessarily experience orgasm from penetration - this is a whole new part of her sexual response that she will have to get to know, understand, and explore.

As for whether she needs time to recover - take her lead too, if it was painful, then it may be that she wants some time, but see what she says. Sometimes a woman will bleed slightly after the first time, this is quite normal and she may or may not be in discomfort. It may well be that it is not painful and she wishes to try again. Try not to make the focus of your intimacy penetration - remember the other sexual activities and sensual touches you are likely to have done together before now and don't stop doing these.

Reply to sexologist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement