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Question
Posted by: Starlite | 2010/05/24

losing the one you love

Having lost the woman I love (shedumped me 5 months ago) after 7 years. I still feel so lost, sad and lonely. Ithought the pain would be much better by now bt it keeps getting worse. I end up doing things I wouldn''t do in my normal state. I spent R9000 on 3 items of clothing over the weekend..thinking it would make me feel better bt guess what..nothing changes.

Time is the only hope I have to make m feel better but it looks like its gonna be a long lonely road. I have almost everything a guy my age could wish bt it all means nothing now.
Just thought I should share with you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

The ending of any real human relationship, in any way, brings grief - one of my old friends, a legendary expert in the field, wrote that "Grief is the price we pay for love" - because to the extent that we have formed emotional bonds with another, breaking those bonds is necessarily painful. It usually takes 6 months to a year to work through the main tasks of grief, sometimes longer. A therapist / counsellor experienced in helping with grief may be of assistance.
As you've discovered, no amount of spending or bling brings any comfort.
But except when one is meaningfully and productively on the grief ( which is hard work ), simply sitting around moping and thinking about how awful one feels, gets you nowhere except miserable. So it is useful to keep active and with other people - in social and charitable work, sports, whatever - preferably where one is doing something qworthwhile with other people, rather than in the useless clubbing and drinking which gets nobody anywhere

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/05/24

The ending of any real human relationship, in any way, brings grief - one of my old friends, a legendary expert in the field, wrote that "Grief is the price we pay for love" - because to the extent that we have formed emotional bonds with another, breaking those bonds is necessarily painful. It usually takes 6 months to a year to work through the main tasks of grief, sometimes longer. A therapist / counsellor experienced in helping with grief may be of assistance.
As you've discovered, no amount of spending or bling brings any comfort.
But except when one is meaningfully and productively on the grief ( which is hard work ), simply sitting around moping and thinking about how awful one feels, gets you nowhere except miserable. So it is useful to keep active and with other people - in social and charitable work, sports, whatever - preferably where one is doing something qworthwhile with other people, rather than in the useless clubbing and drinking which gets nobody anywhere

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