Posted by: Ben | 2011-08-10

Looming divorce II

After my previous writing (07/19/2011), my wife and I came to an agreement that I will be her best friend during this time of making up her mind. She is very pleased with the arrangement. My concern is that her body language is telling me that she is determined to be with this guy. It hurts like hell.

I found a website which provided me with a document which explains that " Divorce is a sin" . In this document the pastor says that it is easy for different people to say divorce, divorce, divorce, but they do not know about the memories, photos, roots of the marriage and that the third person is absolutely not aware of the hurt that he is inflicting on my family and that he is just interested in his own gain. Breaking up someone elses marriage is so so bad. God said that he will deal with the adulterer. It is not forgiven like any other sin. Afterall it is one of God''s commandments. And the tenth says " You may not covet your neighbour''s wife" . So he is under the same kind of dealing from God.

What I want to know is " Do you think it is the right time to send her this document that explains how God feels about her infidelity" ? At the moment she has the attitude that she is sinning so what. How do I get through to her? I love my wife and thinking of this is driving me insane. I do not know whether I can survive this. I do not want to just get my wife back, but I also want to save her soul in the process. Divorce is such a terrible sin. I left the whole thing in God''s hands and trust that he will bring my wife back to me, but I am just wondering whether I was not led to this document in order to send it to her as God''s way of talking to her.

Your urgent comment please!



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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Dear Ben,

Your are very hurt at the moment and realising that some inevitable changes may happen in your life can be very daunting. To go through what you are going through after such a long relationship is not easy especially when you still love your spouse. Your heart's guidance is really the journey you need to follow but ask yourself questions throughout the process. If you were in your wife's shoes, would you welcome to be sent such a document or could it deepen the ridge that is being dug between the two of you?
Remaining friend is important to any relationship and with friendship comes trust. Trust in your friendship to keep communication flowing and to address concerns while remaining positive about what you have built together so far.
Maybe your wife has lost her way shortly and needs your gentle hand to guide her back to you but maybe she is engaging on a new path which she needs to explore and where you will need to welcome the opportunities that it is in turn offering you.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: jessie | 2011-08-16

@ Ben, you seem like a nice man who is determined to fix things and save your marriage. your wife is playing you, she wants to put you as a spare wheel. If she really loved you she wouldn''t cheated on you. my advice to you is, try to forget about your wife, move on, you will meet a woman you deserve one day.

Reply to jessie

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