Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
28 years is a long time together and surely this accounts for some good understanding between the two of you. I would let your wife know that you do love her very much and want to preserve your marriage.
Obviously, anything that happens between consenting adults should be respected and accepting that she spends some time with the other person is your decision only, but a double edge situation.
If she needs some time to re-evaluate her situation give her a bit of space but with an understanding that she must spend this time alone and not with the other person. For her to clarify her situation should be done alone and not with the influence of another person in her life.
You've let her slip away because of some neglect. Let her know of your willingness and motivation to save your marriage first and foremost and perhaps even suggest some couple counselling.
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