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Question
Posted by: Me | 2010/06/05

long lost brother, and more...

Hi Doc, I previously wrote to u re finding out that I have a brother. I am 48, my sister 52. I was devastated at the news as u may recall. However, I did not expect that even worse news would come my way.

My daughter, 22, married early to a guy 9 yrs her senior 6 yrs ago. She has 2 kids. This guy beat her up quite a few times and about 3 weeks ago, he beat her up real bad with a steel pipe. This was very upsetting. He left the house to stay with his parents. The next day the parents came to tell us that my daughter is on heroine. I was very angry at first, but was given advice that I should give her support for now and after rehab, lay down some rules as she will be living with us again. The kids r also another issue on its own, re custody etc.

I was given other bad news after that as well re my son which was also devastating but more work related, as well as something more drastic though not as bad as my daughter''s news.

I try to stay strong, but it is hard. I feel I do not get enough support from my husband. The few days I feel the need for support, he becomes even more depressed than I am. My sister has been giving me lots of support, but my husband complained that she calls me too often.

How do I work with this? How do I help myself?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I hope proper criminal charges have been laid against your daughter's husband, and that steps have been taken to protect her from him - a court order can be obtained forbidding him to approach or harrass her.
The heroin addiction needs to be properly treated by the right sort of expert programme - and with support and assistance going beyond the acute detox period. Cusody of the children may be a difficult issue, as the Court which should decide this would have grounds for concern about both parents, and presumably child welfare folks would be asked to assess the situation better, and make recommendations.
Obviously all these troubles arriving together are a strain for you to deal with - maybe your husband feels more overwhelmed and even less able to cope, and is trying to detatch himself from the situation.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/06/07

I hope proper criminal charges have been laid against your daughter's husband, and that steps have been taken to protect her from him - a court order can be obtained forbidding him to approach or harrass her.
The heroin addiction needs to be properly treated by the right sort of expert programme - and with support and assistance going beyond the acute detox period. Cusody of the children may be a difficult issue, as the Court which should decide this would have grounds for concern about both parents, and presumably child welfare folks would be asked to assess the situation better, and make recommendations.
Obviously all these troubles arriving together are a strain for you to deal with - maybe your husband feels more overwhelmed and even less able to cope, and is trying to detatch himself from the situation.

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