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Question
Posted by: megan | 2012/01/23

long

i am a 15 year old girl and dating an 18 year old guy, i just want to know what i can do to make sure that our realationship lasts long

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It would be very unwise to try to make the relationship lasts long, and indeed do be aware that while you are 15, (a) it would be potentially criminal for him to have sex with you, and (b) though you might not want to admit it, you are far too young to get involved in any serous long-term relationship, and know and have experienced far too little of life yet, to be able to make any wise decisions about such matters. Otherwise the likelihood is extremely high that any such relationship will lead you into grief.
You won't want to believe this, and yes, it may well seem nonsense to you, as you may be convinced you are wise beyond your years, and sure that this will be the one great love of your life. It isn't and won't be. When one is inexperienced and emotionally immature, it often seems as though it is, but you have nothing to compare it with, and it feels so great you don't want to have doubts.
Also, one must face the fact that nice young girls are especially attractive to men who would like to exploit and use them, and who may make promises they don't intend to keep, and may dump you once they have got what they wanted. Protect yourself from yourself, and don't get involved in this way for a few years yet.
There is plenty of time to enjoy long-term loving relationships when you are older. And then you will realise, too, not only that there are no simple ways to ensure that a relationship lasts long, but also that if you feel you need to do something special to make it last, there's something wrong with it already. Having sex with the guy is probably the most sure way to be certain that it WILL NOT last.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Jam | 2012/01/23

Hi Megan

For a young girl your age its always wise to stay focused on your goals and to finish school first. Put all your attention on your new school year and leave serious relationships for when u done with GR12...Good Luck...

Reply to Jam
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/23

It would be very unwise to try to make the relationship lasts long, and indeed do be aware that while you are 15, (a) it would be potentially criminal for him to have sex with you, and (b) though you might not want to admit it, you are far too young to get involved in any serous long-term relationship, and know and have experienced far too little of life yet, to be able to make any wise decisions about such matters. Otherwise the likelihood is extremely high that any such relationship will lead you into grief.
You won't want to believe this, and yes, it may well seem nonsense to you, as you may be convinced you are wise beyond your years, and sure that this will be the one great love of your life. It isn't and won't be. When one is inexperienced and emotionally immature, it often seems as though it is, but you have nothing to compare it with, and it feels so great you don't want to have doubts.
Also, one must face the fact that nice young girls are especially attractive to men who would like to exploit and use them, and who may make promises they don't intend to keep, and may dump you once they have got what they wanted. Protect yourself from yourself, and don't get involved in this way for a few years yet.
There is plenty of time to enjoy long-term loving relationships when you are older. And then you will realise, too, not only that there are no simple ways to ensure that a relationship lasts long, but also that if you feel you need to do something special to make it last, there's something wrong with it already. Having sex with the guy is probably the most sure way to be certain that it WILL NOT last.

Reply to cybershrink

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