advertisement
Question
Posted by: Sweets | 2010-08-02

Lonelyness is messing with me

Why is it that lonelyness makes one do crazy things you wouldn''t normally do? How does one get rid of the guilt of doing stupid things and the regrets of doing it? I hate being lonely. 42 and have phone sex for example with strange guys I meet on the internet. I wish so I had somebody to love me and me him. Maybe I am being stupid but I really want it. I have been on my own for 15 years and like my own company. It is when I see couples on TV or in the streets, hear love songs that my mind goes totally crazy on me and it hurts! Why am I like this?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out WHY it was wrong, WHAT to learn from it, and HOW to avoid doing that again.
Loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. And the media ( songs, TV, etc., sells to us an image of Lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. At least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex.
Work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: Sweets | 2010-08-03

Yes you may contact me Shy Guy if you give me your contact details.

Reply to Sweets
Posted by: ShyGuy | 2010-08-02

Can i possibly contact you sweets?

Reply to ShyGuy
Posted by: Bongi | 2010-08-02

It happens dear - don''t beat yourself up. At some point I also thought I was losing my mind. I would date people I couldn''t even stand just " to have someone" . I don''t know how it ended - but now I am OK. And now I have met a man who loves me and I love him back. I met him on internet dating. Some people on the internet are weirdos - but not all of them. I asked my bf why he was on the internet, it was because he is shy to ask women out face to face, so he went for the internet. He is very sweet - not all of them are pervs.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-08-02

Guilt is rarely a useful response after one has recognized that whatever one did was indeed wrong - the valuable response is then to go on and work out WHY it was wrong, WHAT to learn from it, and HOW to avoid doing that again.
Loneliness is tough, and our society isn't kind to lonely people. And the media ( songs, TV, etc., sells to us an image of Lerv that few of us achieve and which isn't actually as practical, easy and desirable as they represent it as. At least phone sex, so long as you limit it to that, is safe sex.
Work on developing friendships, at work, at church, through voluntary work, hobbies, whatever, and be open to the possibility of love when it turns up.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement