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Question
Posted by: Kay | 2011/03/24

Lonely marriage

Hi, I have been married for 17 years most of them unhappy and with three georgeous kids. My husband is always working, or sitting with friends. He doesnt smoke or drink, but is never home, while I am left to do all the parenting. He doesnt want to give me a divorce and says he works harde for us . He has his own business now, but even before when he workec id for an employer he was always out, arriving late at night and then sleeping in front of tv. I have been told tha t I am very attractive etc and wouldnt dream of cheating on him. I would rather divorce first. I am so scared of leaving the marriage, even though i am so lonely in it and unhappy.
We have a healthy sex life, so i am not sure why he cant be content at home. He is always out there looking for acceptance, conversation and attention. I am tired of giving as my needs are not being met. What can I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Working may be a financial necessity, but sitting with friends instead of with wife and kids, is not necessary, and suggests a really low level of commitment to marriage. Can't ypu persuade him to join you inm mariage counselling, to see what might be worked out ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/26

Working may be a financial necessity, but sitting with friends instead of with wife and kids, is not necessary, and suggests a really low level of commitment to marriage. Can't ypu persuade him to join you inm mariage counselling, to see what might be worked out ?

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Chris | 2011/03/25

I am also very alone in my marraige. although we are in the same house I feel left out and not cared for. No sexual contact for 18 months and when I mentioned it I was asked if I have a issue about this!!!!!

Of course I do have an issue!! She is not letting me into her life anymore and she was the one who had an affair!!! I take it she does not love me but I will leave as soon as this year is finished and over.

Be strong, better times will come but we alone can bring happiness back into our lives!!

Reply to Chris
Posted by: Romany | 2011/03/25

Hi Kay
After 17 years of living this way I am afriad it will be very difficult to change him. I would suggest that you go for couples counsilling. It is necesasary for him to hear from an " outsider"  that he is not handling this situation correctly. He is in a habit and now thinks this is not wrong.
Give it a try and if it does not work, the only other thing you can do is to get a social life yourself which should include the kids.
Have people over etc.

Reply to Romany

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