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Question
Posted by: shelley - from post 817 | 2011/01/31

lonely and what is bipolar?

I am a very attactive lady but shy to meet men, stay at home most wkends and jus feelling like takin an o/d or taking sleeping pills sleeping my wkend away. i dont have friends as they feel threatend by me.... Im very sad, ive a sister who doesnt giv damn bout me as her husban made a move on me 10 yrs ago and i can only really c my mom bout 1x a month as she works hard on a lodge... i dont know what to do with myself, i live in a commune full of depressing and negative people so i lock myself in a room as small as a matchbox... i only wish i had the courage to jus go out an eat alone, or do somehtin on my own, i am a bit of a loner but i get on better with men but then again men expect something (whats new?? he he)...

i never use to be shy, is it cause i came out of an abusive marriage 2 yrs ago from UK an now back in SA and also affected my shyness w.r.t interviews too for work... I used to be full of confidence, jovial and humourous, whats hap to me? im also anxious bout being 44 and nobody to look after me, its alota things. Im not coping well, jus pop brazepams all time to sleep my misery away.... how do i get my confidence back, wish i cud jus go to monte casino without feeling shy and playin blackjack without feeling nervous of a guy checkin me out.. y is it so hard for me to do that? I feel my life is jus passing me by and the years are flying an that depresses me even more....

thanks for your assistance cybershrink.... ure brilliant at yr advice....

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Why do possible friends feel threatened by you ? What on earth would they find threatening about you ? Your experience of an abusive marriage may have made you more cautious about befriending other people, perhaps. Popping sedatives is not a good idea, and the doctor prescribing them is not providing high quality care. And those drugs increase depression, too. Despite some of the attempts to market themmotherwise, they are NOT useful in depression.
And going to a casino and playing blackjack is a fine way to waste money, but will not improve your state at all. Rather see a counselor to help you sort out the bundle of problems that are troubling you. Counselling can help you regain conidence, and to plan more realistically and effectively to improve your present and your future. And to get more self-sufficient - you don't need sisters, or to bother about whether men are looking at you, to lead a successful and contented life on your own ; relationships then can be a bonus

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: Charles | 2011/01/31

I am willing to offer my friendship - friends only

Reply to Charles
Posted by: P | 2011/01/31

I have the same problem as well and I don''t know what to do

Reply to P
Posted by: QQ | 2011/01/31

I get the impression that you feel you are too beautifull?
Your frends are even " threatened"  because you are a " very attractive lady" ?
If you go to Monte Casino " Guys will check you out" ? Why? Because you are so beautifull?
No dear, you are 44 years old. 21, 22 23 etc years olds are (MAYBE) the ones that some women feel " jealous"  of. They are the ones that men " check out" 
Do not bluff yourself girl. You are looking for an excuse.
Get into your jeans. Off to the casino for a relaxing game of whatever you like. Then a bite somewhere.
The people, men and women that will approach you or xcheck you out are NOT doing so because they " want"  you and find you irresistable... people look at each other. We are a curious lot.
They are there casue they want to be friends. Make friends.

Reply to QQ
Posted by: Charles | 2011/01/31

I had a similiar patch at one stage in my life - it is really depressing knowing that time is flying by. I am willing to be JUST YOUR FRIEND NOTHING MORE.

Reply to Charles
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/31

Why do possible friends feel threatened by you ? What on earth would they find threatening about you ? Your experience of an abusive marriage may have made you more cautious about befriending other people, perhaps. Popping sedatives is not a good idea, and the doctor prescribing them is not providing high quality care. And those drugs increase depression, too. Despite some of the attempts to market themmotherwise, they are NOT useful in depression.
And going to a casino and playing blackjack is a fine way to waste money, but will not improve your state at all. Rather see a counselor to help you sort out the bundle of problems that are troubling you. Counselling can help you regain conidence, and to plan more realistically and effectively to improve your present and your future. And to get more self-sufficient - you don't need sisters, or to bother about whether men are looking at you, to lead a successful and contented life on your own ; relationships then can be a bonus

Reply to cybershrink

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