Our expert says:
Suicide is NEVER the solution - it's the problem. If you're R 200 over budget each month, is it possible to trim that budget in some way, until you get through this spell ?
Very disappointing that you didn't manage to get Lifeline on the phone that time - but it wasn't, of course, any rejection of YOU - they didn't have a system to identify incoming calls, and then said : "Oh, if it's HER, don't answer !" Maybe your local community was having a very bad week, and had temporarily overwhelmed their lines ? Maybe Telkom had messed up their lines ( they've done that often enough to me over the years, but I recognize it as due to idiocy a Telkom, noty as anything wrong with me. )
Who has said you're selfish ? Certainly not I ! You may be self-absorbed and self-focussed right now - but that's so understandable.
Yes, of course you're frustrated. You've been struggling and at THIS particular stage don't see the fruits of all that effort. But continue, please, to be determined and ingenious in getting the help you need. IF the local Lifeline is out of oprder for some reason, isn't there another nearby reachable branch to call ? Why not present yourself to your nearest large hospital casualty and explicitly describe your situation and ask for help ? Don't ALLOW the services to neglect you and your child, and get whatever help can be garnered.
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