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Question
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/16

Loneliness

Hi. I have been single for nearly 8 years now. And it is getting hard to feel not lonely. Yes, I have a lot of friends, and yes I am looking for the right partner. But it is getting more tiresome by the day, week, month. As the years go by, I begin to realise how very lonely I am. And how much I miss the embrace of a loved one (non-family). I am not giving up hope, but the more I search, the harder it gets. And everytime I think I have found the right partner, she is usuakky taken.
I just wanted to share my loneliness once in a while. I hope you do not mind? I am 29 male.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course I don't mind ! Your concern reminds me of that song in Chicago, "Mr Cellophane".
There are many ways to reduce loneliness, including participating helpfully in forums like this, taking part in charity / NGO work, hobbies, etc. Focussing too exclusively on seeking a mate has the risk of making one feel and feel too needy and desperate, which may turn away people who would otherwise have really liked you.
Maybe see a psychologist for a chat and an assessment as to whether there are issues such as enhancing self-esteem and self-confidence with which the shrink could help. I'm sure there are many people out there who would be pleased to know you, some as friends and some as potentially more. BE calm, patient, and ready to enjoy opportunities that turn up.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/18

Thanks for what? For making me feel more miserable then before? Gatitude is given where gratitude is deserved.
I will enjoy my solitude, as much as I can, thanks.

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/18

I think you are in DESPERATE need of anger management therapy.

Perhaps your aggresive verbal abusive personality is also alinating u from the oposite sex.

I gave time and effort to respond to your - not my - problem. A little gratitude would be in order.

This conversation is indeed over!

Enjoy your solitude...........

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/18

@Liza @Obvious....how pathetic you are. Assumptions is the mother of all f%^&  ups....
So do not assume. I am not desperate, just lonely. And what @Skye said is the utmost truth.
But then, hey, all you know is how to be loved and cherished, without showing any love and cherish to other people.
This conversation is over. As there are some people, like @Liza and @Obvious, that are obviously so happy with themselves and their partners and their life''s.
Do not judge, EVER!

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/17

Liza is right, he may say he is not desperate but he comes across as being in a state of desperation.............if he cannot be happy on his own he will never make any woman happy.

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Liza | 2012/01/17

@skye - sorry to be a party pooper but I''m not married and I do not have a partner. I still think that Lonely comes across as desperate. That''s not say he is desperate, just that he appears to be desperate to me.

I guess I''m one of the few people completely happy in their loneliness. Coming to an empty house every evening is my idea of perfection.
" Wots the point of searching for dreams without someone to share it with?"  - The point of having a dream is personal fulfillment. Sharing a dream with someone else is just a bonus.

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/17

@ Skye: Thank you very much for your beautiful words Skye. Deeply appreciated.

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: skye | 2012/01/16

I know how you feel. Someone to share your jokes with(even the boring ones.someone who cn be with anyone in the world,but they chose you. Existence to be validated. Note it will always be people who hav a partner/married that will comment that you are desperate. Yes joining ngo''s,community projects,hobbies is fun,but going home to a empty house isn''t. Wots the point of searching for dreams without someone to share it with. Maybe you''ll meet her tomorrow who knows,but just enjoy today as is. Strongz!.

Reply to skye
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/16

" I just want to feel the joy of sharing happiness with someone special in MY life."  Just a typo. Sorry

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: Lonely | 2012/01/16

Thanks for all the coments.
Just to clear things up, I am not desperate, I know how to wait long periods without any desperation. @Liza: regarding the ladies that I meet and are usually taken already. I do not pursue a woman that is already taken, as that will cause more complications then happiness. I am not needy, nor desperate. I just want to feel the joy of sharing happiness with someone special in your life.

Reply to Lonely
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/16

You sound very depressed and desperate, both will put off potential GFs.

CS will have good advice but meantime just give up looking for someone. Women can smell desperation a mile off and someone who is low generally has little romantic appeal.

When you are happier in yourself and less frantic about being single love will find you!

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Liza | 2012/01/16

I''m going to be brutally honest here, you come across as being desperate and needy. For me that would be a total turnoff.

" Everytime I think I have found the right partner, she''s usually taken"  - which means that you''re either trying to date the wrong kind of woman(cheaters), or these women are using another guy as an excuse to break off the relationship with you. So do you make a habit of dating cheaters? Or do these women (like me) think that you''re needy?

Just remember that there is a big difference between the perception of being needy and actually truly being needy. Perhaps you only need to change your behavior so that other people don''t perceive you as being needy?

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: rosco dash | 2012/01/16

Stop searching live your life you still young, so many lonely ladies out there eventually you will meet one.

Reply to rosco dash
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/16

Of course I don't mind ! Your concern reminds me of that song in Chicago, "Mr Cellophane".
There are many ways to reduce loneliness, including participating helpfully in forums like this, taking part in charity / NGO work, hobbies, etc. Focussing too exclusively on seeking a mate has the risk of making one feel and feel too needy and desperate, which may turn away people who would otherwise have really liked you.
Maybe see a psychologist for a chat and an assessment as to whether there are issues such as enhancing self-esteem and self-confidence with which the shrink could help. I'm sure there are many people out there who would be pleased to know you, some as friends and some as potentially more. BE calm, patient, and ready to enjoy opportunities that turn up.

Reply to cybershrink

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