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Posted by: mommy | 2009/01/16

LL2 - previous posting –  Miscarriage

Hi, yes it is the same “ mommy”  :-). I’ ve been on the website of “ Compassionate Friends” , but it was a bit difficult for me to read through the site. Maybe I’ m just scared to face the real facts with people who are in the same position that I am now. It might sound silly. I didn’ t have any counseling after the miscarriage, but I did receive counseling after my baby’ s death.

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Our expert says:
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Check out where their nearest group is, and attend some meetings. They won't insist that you speak until you are ready. Counselling should deal with both your losses.

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Our users say:
Posted by: owi | 2009/01/20

Dear Mommy
thanks dear but we are booked for counseling but he is too busy to go.but now we did talk about it and we are going to be more open with each other.our son is not staying with us he stays with my in laws they feel we need time to heal and to make fix our relationship.how are you holding up.

Reply to owi
Posted by: mommy | 2009/01/17

Dear Owi,
I think your husband also needs to work through the loss of his baby. Men handle things differently than women do. I suggest you both go for counseling. Suggest it to him, not only to help the both of you to get through this experience, but you also have to think of how your little boy is handling this?

Reply to mommy
Posted by: owi | 2009/01/17

thank you mommy.my husband was there with me at the hospital in and out he took care of me after but he never wanted to talk about our loose.i then went to stay with my mother in law for a month coz i was still weak,that' s when the problem started he is cheating on me we can not seem to get along for a long time now.he says i am negging i want too much attetion like our little boy he can not give me that becouse he has to go and work so we can pay the bills.i am depressed and on treatment for it.i almost killed myself last weekend all i want is some one to hold me.

Reply to owi
Posted by: mommy | 2009/01/17

Dear Owi, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I can' t imagine how you must feel especially because she was due this month. It will take time, the pain will become bearable. Nothing anybody says will take that pain away. I also had to go through my miscarriage alone, as well as my baby' s death. The father didn' t actually care. I am grateful that I have a very loving family, who stood by me. As Doc said in the previous posting, call a counseling centre, and go for counseling. Then, at least you can tell somebody what you are going through. Sometimes you just need to speak to somebody, anybody who is prepared and willing to listen. From my experience I prefer to speak to somebody who went through the same as I did, and who’ s not in the “ family”  circle. Although the situations differ from person to person, it is still the same loss.

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Posted by: owi | 2009/01/16

i am still grieving my little girl she i had a miscarrige end of october she was due this month next week.it feels like i am going crazy my marriage is falling apart i can not seem to do anything right at the moment i do have another child but every thing feels diffrent.i want more attection than ever and my husband is always busy it makes me angury all the time i can not be with pple for a very long time.hearing that you guys are still mouring after a year makes me feel better i want my marrige to work and to love the little boy that i have.help me

Reply to owi
Posted by: LL2 | 2009/01/16

Yes these milestones are quite hard to deal with I must say. I will probably also just put in leave for the day so that I dont sit and sob at the office. I have had a few of those days already - best to have them at home. You are in my thoughts and I hope that we will both get through this ok (whatever ok means). Shame, sorry to hear about your pets too - you really had a rough time. I sometimes wish that one could turn back time - wouldnt that be nice. Keep well and look after yourself. I' ll keep a lookout for you on the site - please keep in touch. Nice to hear from you again. Take care.

Reply to LL2
Posted by: mommy | 2009/01/16

It' s nice to hear from you. I' m doing ok under the circumstances. My first “ anniversary”  is also in February, and I’ m also very nervous, I’ m not sure what to expect. It’ s like her first “ birthday”  which we never had. I’ ve decided to take leave for the day, and seeing that its my birthday, exactly a week after, I’ m just going to take time off. Not sure what I’ m going to do though. I don’ t have any other kids. The only “ other”  kids I had, also died last year. It was a miniature doberman and a cat. So, 2008 was quite hectic. :-)

Reply to mommy
Posted by: LL2 | 2009/01/16

I was wondering about how you were doing. You are not silly - it is sad to know there are so many people out there who are experiencing the pain that we have every day. Their website is sad to go through and has some wonderful articles but I havent had the motivation to actually contact them either. It is still very difficult. I also only had counselling after my son' s death and must say it helped. I' m however nervous about the next few weeks as it will be the 1st anniversary in February. Are you managing to cope in general? Do you have other kids?

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