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Question
Posted by: P. Lange | 2009/12/11

Little sex in longterm relationship

Me and my fiance are together for 8 years and our sexlife is dying down. It started around 3 years ago and I have tried speaking to her about it, and although she says she understands my needs it has come to a basic stand still, with us having slept together 3 times this year.
Even when she touches me it seems more like she is preforming a duty than to enjoy it.

She said it is not me but nothing I try seems to work.

Is there anything I can try to get her interested? Or what could the causes be?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageAgeing and Sexuality expert

This situation is so common that it is seen as"Normal".

There are numerous reasons why women loose desire for sexual play. They range from her own disinterest in her own sexuality due to body changes, to illness, medication and mostly loss of desire seems to be relationship related.

Both people in a relationship need to take responsibility for the continuation of a sexual life. It is natural to let it slip as a couple become comfortable and familiar with each other.

Counselling is always a great way to kick start a sexier relationship- it gets clearing of any relationship stuff that may be getting in your fiancee's way and give the two of you some freshness. As well as honest discussion so at least you know what is going on.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

3
Our users say:
Posted by: Koos | 2010/01/20

You are not saying how old you are and what the relationship and sexual history of both are. Couselling as suggested is a good idea.

Reply to Koos
Posted by: Wicky | 2010/01/11

Dear P Lange

Sit down with your wife and discuss with her what will revive her sex life. What does she expect from you, not just understanding your needs, but what can you do to revive her interest. Maybe she would liek some calls during the day, at home make her a cup of coffee and just stand and chat to her while she is preparing dinner. You need to find what will make her want sex again and go all out and keep her happy. Keep her happy and she may feel the interest for sex again

Reply to Wicky
Posted by: Ageing and Sexuality expert | 2009/12/14

This situation is so common that it is seen as"Normal".

There are numerous reasons why women loose desire for sexual play. They range from her own disinterest in her own sexuality due to body changes, to illness, medication and mostly loss of desire seems to be relationship related.

Both people in a relationship need to take responsibility for the continuation of a sexual life. It is natural to let it slip as a couple become comfortable and familiar with each other.

Counselling is always a great way to kick start a sexier relationship- it gets clearing of any relationship stuff that may be getting in your fiancee's way and give the two of you some freshness. As well as honest discussion so at least you know what is going on.

Reply to Ageing and Sexuality expert

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