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Question
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

Life is overrated

Hi there,

I feel like life is overrated. There is nothing precious about it - you work hard and then you die.

I makes me think of the one Robbie song: " I don''t want to die, but I ain''t keen on living either" 

Does anyone else share my thoughts?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You feel life is over-rated ? Compared to what ?
That was a serious question.
SO you really feel that the fact that we die at the end of it, makes it impossible for life to ever be enjoyable or meaningful ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

@ XXX,

Thank you.

Well, I can carry a child, but my eggs are not good quality. We already went for an IVF treatment. Each treatment costs R30k. We are actually still busy paying off the last one.
I have the option of donor egg (R55k)... it is a bitter pill to swallow, as you can imagine - financially and emotionally.

I believe that adopting a child is a very daunting task, yes, even in SA where there are millions of orphans.

Reply to Cat
Posted by: XXX | 2012/10/24

Me again :) This is sad news Cat but it seems to me that you have all the attributes to be a great Mom,SO,why not look to adopt a baby.There are so many little children out there looking for someone like you.
Another option is to look for a surrogate Mom,this might be tough and expensive but hey,it might be worth investigating.
I have a very strong feeling that some little baby/child is out there,waiting especially for you.
Please try and be positive,I''m sure you can still be a wonderful Mom.

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

@ Chris758

I hope you feel better with what ever is bothering you :)

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

@ Chris758

I sooooo want to walk a path with God again, but I feel like He has deserted me.

I used to pray to God, begged, pleated.. I basically did everything in my power to find favour with God so that He can bless me with a child, but He didn''t. I am at a stage where I don''t know if He even exists or does He just not care?

Thank you for your kidn words.

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Chris758 | 2012/10/24

A man once told me while working in the church grounds that he moved away from God but he knows that God does not move away from him!!! Remeber that!! I feel sorry for you for not having children and also do not understand why people h ave children and then abuse them!!

Last night I felt the same as you and maybe still do but remeber one thing....God is in charge!!

Reply to Chris758
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

Hi Lucy,

Thank you for the reply. And back at ya! a huuuge virtual hug!

I am sorry to hear that you too won''t have little kiddies of your own. It is very difficult for a woman, especially, to realise this cruel and unfair reality.

Good luck, angel.

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Lucy | 2012/10/24

Let me begin by saying I''m a huge cat lover, so you immediately crept into my heart. I also love Robbie Williams and that song rings so true some days.... I don''t have children either  as a young girl I had terrible endometriosis and a very unhappy marriage, I was told I''d never have kids and had lots of operations and hormone treatment and a painful divorce. Many years later my gynae is quite happy and I seem to be ovulating  I meet my dream man, but he''s had a vasectomy done by a Hungarian butcher leaving him damaged for good and a reversal is impossible. He has children with his psychopath ex wife and I will never have children of my own. All around me people are having babies and all I can do is watch from the sidelines. I understand the pain and emptiness you feel, Cat. So all I can do is send you love and a virtual hug. xxxx

Reply to Lucy
Posted by: Cat | 2012/10/24

Thanks guys, for the encouragement  )

You see,, I feel very empty as I am unable to have children. I hurt everyday and even more so when a friend has a baby, or an unfit mom has a baby. I long for something that other people get so easily, and some people don’ t even want. I feel left out as everyone has their little family with kiddies parties and baby showers.

I was close to God, but sort of lost my faith along the way. I kinda feel hopeless at this stage.

Reply to Cat
Posted by: Queen | 2012/10/24

I think life becomes ''overrated'' when you stop living, and just exist. I''m not career driven or motivated by money. I''m content with what I have, which means I have one less thing to worry about in life. I usually do what I enjoy doing, I avoid things I ''must'' do by all means. We travel a lot with hubby and kids, because that''s what we enjoy doing together. I''m yet to take up any sport but I sure hope to soon enough! There''s so much to be enjoyed in this life and so little time!

Reply to Queen
Posted by: Lee | 2012/10/24

Well I felt truly saddled down with a mom to take of (ill and destitute) whilst my brothers live it not giving a fig. I had problems at work. I am overweight. I had health issues. I was broke. I still BATTLE financially.
I have realised that I am chosen to look after my mom because I am the one that can. I can work it out with y boss. I can walk around the block or up and down the stairs at work during my lunch-time. I can buy good food choices (rubbish costs more). I can be close to God. I truly believe that we are put on this earth to meet people we can help or that can help us.
I had a disastrous childhood - I have a friend that went through the same thing.
My ex had Ankylosing. Another friend was in the dark and I have been able to help and guide her.
My mom is a joy to me. She is feisty, she is expensive, we fight, we love - she won''t always be here and then I am going to miss her like mad.
I do not have a boyfriend and was never married. I am planning to go online (carefully) to find my " one"  when I am ready. My last boyfriend was an Atheist and I kicked him out after 13 years but I can see the good in what we had too.
So, we are strugging we cannot see the reason for things but look at who you can help through something and it is not financial. Start blessing people with tiny gifts or small things you can do - its amazing and that is the purpose.

Reply to Lee
Posted by: Margie | 2012/10/24

I understand exactly what you mean. I feel the same.
With everything that goes on it is difficult to be positive. As you mentioned as well one goes to work for most part of your life. Just to keep your head above water is a struggle in itself as everything has become so expensive. People pretend to be your friends but in the end everybody looks out for number one. It is difficult not to be negative. All these hardships and troubles for what? In the end we all die and you cannot take anything with you. Why go through all the turmoil called life?

Reply to Margie
Posted by: XXX | 2012/10/24

I don''t agree CAT,one can have an awesome life if you just give it a chance.
Have good friends around you,stay close to your family,find a partner that loves you dearly,travel if possible,play sport,read a lot,appreciate and love your children dearly,ensure " me"  time,spoil yourself when you can,stay close to God.... the list goes on and on

Reply to XXX
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/10/24

You feel life is over-rated ? Compared to what ?
That was a serious question.
SO you really feel that the fact that we die at the end of it, makes it impossible for life to ever be enjoyable or meaningful ?

Reply to cybershrink

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