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Question
Posted by: Belle | 2011/03/20

Life changing crisis

How does one handle a life changing experience? I have a very ill daughter and i am not sure how to handle this. I am trying to keep her routine the same (she still does her chores, unpacking the dishwasher etc). I just feel exhausted! Her brother (14) has turned into this very uptight teenager, just constantly wanting to fight. How do i keep myself sane in all of this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You will remain sane, though these will be uncomfortable times. In my experience of sriously ill kids, its usually wise to do as you are doing, and expect them to keep to their usual chores, only making appropriate allowance for any limitations imposed by the illness. Even VERY seriously ill kids have said to me that they didn't like being treate as though they had suddenly become fragile porcelain. One said : "I don't think they really love me any more - they never scold me or get cross any more !"
Is it possible that her brother is becoming so combative as his way of handling much the same situation, and his anger over his sister's illness ? There can also be conflict between sibs when one seems to be getting special attention though this is due only to the needs of the illness

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Our users say:
Posted by: AGM | 2011/03/22

Hi Belle

This is the time to be strong and pray for your children, God promised us that he wil never leave nor forsake us trust in him. The Bible says Jesus is our healer he healed all the deasease long time ago and it also says by his stipes we are healed.

Believe with me that your child is healed in the name of Jesus.

Reply to AGM
Posted by: Woman | 2011/03/20

Dear Belle,

I went through such an experience about two years ago. My oldest son got severely ill with a genetic reaction to an everyday illness. He spent a total of three months in hospital and then he got depression. He was 8 at the time and I still had to raise a 6 year old in her first year of school and a premature baby in his first year of life.

He will have to take daily medication, probably for the rest of his life and we have to constantly be aware of any symptoms. If he gets ill again, it could be lethal. If he gets ill again, he might have to stop doing everything he loves.

Life changing? yes! There are two things you need - the most important is someone you can trust with your emotions and feelings. Someone who can tell you if you need help - like in anti-depressants. If it overwhelms you constantly, the AD''s will help. If you can afford a counselor, please start going as soon as you can.

The other is the belief that you can handle this. You had these children and they are yours. You know them and you can take care of it all. You are a super-hero in their eyes. Believe it yourself, and your strength will grow.

You might get relief by writing, or reading, or working in the garden. Make time for the things you love, it is necessary for your own equilibrium.

There is just one hope I can give you. There is light at the end of the tunnel. But only you can see it!

Good luck Belle, I know your strength will shine through!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/03/20

You will remain sane, though these will be uncomfortable times. In my experience of sriously ill kids, its usually wise to do as you are doing, and expect them to keep to their usual chores, only making appropriate allowance for any limitations imposed by the illness. Even VERY seriously ill kids have said to me that they didn't like being treate as though they had suddenly become fragile porcelain. One said : "I don't think they really love me any more - they never scold me or get cross any more !"
Is it possible that her brother is becoming so combative as his way of handling much the same situation, and his anger over his sister's illness ? There can also be conflict between sibs when one seems to be getting special attention though this is due only to the needs of the illness

Reply to cybershrink

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