Posted by: Just me | 2008-12-04

Life after betrayal

I read so many postings wrt cheating/affairs etc… and it saddens me to think that this disgusting behaviour has now become the norm?? I was betrayed a year ago… caused quite a stir on this forum when I posted that I went out and did a “ tit for tat” … nevertheless, all was revealed and we did the counselling thing, … and decided to start all over. We did… it got better… .we dealt with what happened…  etc etc… decided to leave the past behind us ..and work towards the future..we got married last month.

Now.. to make this marriage work… seeing we both decided to stay in the relationship… and he did show remorse… we simply have to “ forget”  about the past hurts… When I say forget… I mean don’ t EVER bring it up… don’ t throw it in each other' s faces..and don’ t pass snide remarks… If you decide to stay in the relationship..and cant do this… it will never work out… Then I would say… LEAVE NOW! It’ s not always easy to walk away… but it’ s sometimes necessary for your own sanity! If you choose to stay… remember there is hard work from your side as well… I believe that sometimes people deserve a second chance… but not thirds and more… ..If I should be cheated on again… I will walk away… .and not look back..

Good luck to all you guys going through hurts and pains… All I can say is… .it gets better with time… .and lotsa hugs and prayers  -))


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Our expert says:
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So "forgetting" that past isn't an act of amnesia, but of deciding to never use it as a weapon. I also agree that second chances are often worth it ; 3rds and beyond, almost never worth it.
So pleased to hear from you again, and to hear that you have managed this situation so well and feel happy about your choice

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