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Question
Posted by: coco | 2011/06/04

life

i feel like the universe is against me, i had a broken home,guys are telling me im such a great person but none of them are even trying to be in a relationship with me, and my best friend is begging her sister-in-law to be her bridesmaid, instead of me..i graduated my honours recently and hav a good paying job, but when it comes to emotional soulful nurturing love, i am absolutely empty...im 25 and i yearn for happiness, ive tried my best to overcome my circumstances..but why isnt life working out for me...wish i could give my life to a cancer patient

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Dear coco, I know how you feel. And as someone wise once said to me when I similarly complained that it felt as though everyone was against me, she said : "Not true ! In some parts of Waziristan and the whole of Mongolia, they are still counting the votes on that !"
A broken home can be tough, but many really marvellous people have come from one. Maybe you're even half as marvellous as other people say ( they have no good reason for lying about that ). Love comes, but not on demand. And not if we insist on givin up. CBT style counselling could help you develop more self-esteem and a more positive self-image.
Maybe you have become depressed, and deserve treatment for that, too, as it makes everything seem convincingly but unrealistically gloomy.
You don't know all that's happening in your best friend's families, or why she may feel she has to ask her sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid. Its no insult to you, and doesn't dminish your considerable worth at all

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Our users say:
Posted by: coco | 2011/06/05

wow,thanks for the feedback. I will stop blaming myself!!Its just that sometimes i''d rather feel sorrow,than face the empytiness,but maybe its time to replace that with faith and belief in myself. I woke up this morning so i guess there''e always hope

Reply to coco
Posted by: MPAT | 2011/06/05

The universe will be against you when you lose your job and you wake up without an honours degree in a shack, 4 kids and HIV with no access to arv''s. I am sorry to hear of your broken home. However......
Be grateful for what you have. If they say you are a great person, chances are, YOU ARE. You just need to believe it!!!!!! Their hesitation to hook up with you may be related to their own inadequacies and HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. Your best friend is in an engagement daze, be supportive and happy for her.
Perhaps you should try CBT. All you need is for someone to put things into perspective for you. You are too young to be feeling so despondent. If you lived till 70, can you really afford to feel this way for the next 45 years?

Reply to MPAT
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/06/05

Dear coco, I know how you feel. And as someone wise once said to me when I similarly complained that it felt as though everyone was against me, she said : "Not true ! In some parts of Waziristan and the whole of Mongolia, they are still counting the votes on that !"
A broken home can be tough, but many really marvellous people have come from one. Maybe you're even half as marvellous as other people say ( they have no good reason for lying about that ). Love comes, but not on demand. And not if we insist on givin up. CBT style counselling could help you develop more self-esteem and a more positive self-image.
Maybe you have become depressed, and deserve treatment for that, too, as it makes everything seem convincingly but unrealistically gloomy.
You don't know all that's happening in your best friend's families, or why she may feel she has to ask her sister-in-law to be a bridesmaid. Its no insult to you, and doesn't dminish your considerable worth at all

Reply to cybershrink

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