Posted by: Anon2 | 2009-03-23


Dear CS
As you can see I’ m using a new nick now. Anon isn’ t appropriate anymore. The strange thing is that I don’ t feel depressed at all, just emotionally dead. I can’ t cry. I’ m already taking 350 mg Epitec, 1 mg Risperdal, 30 mg Wellbutrin XL, 10 mg Zolpidem and 1 mg Rivotril. About the only thing left is CBT. My CBT councilor left for New Zealand. I’ ve called the Depression and Anxiety Group and the CBT therapist they recommend is in Russia and won’ t be back soon. Somehow I can’ t find a CBT therapist in Pretoria. I’ m not lucky enough to live in the UK and have access to the resources there. Working yesterday helped me a lot. I’ m much calmer. I will still continue to see the social worker. I' ve got nothing to loose.
El-Jo (In my previous life)

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Our expert says:
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I know what you mean. We all vary in the contours of our depression, and in its depths, we are numb rather than feeling aware of "depressed". What one has to watch for, is that sometimes on one's way up again to normalcy, one may reach a point where the FEELINGS of depression become stronger, and one may think one is getting worse, when its actually a mis-read sign of improvement, and one may, sadly, regain the energy to try self-harm, before one has regained the realisation that this would be a really bad idea.
Its a bit like having sunk into the sea, far beneath the waves. It's a dangerous place to be but may feel calm ; and as one rises, one reaches the level of the waves, and it may feel more fraught and agitated --- until one reaches the calm of dry land.
Sounds like a realistic range of meds ; and CBT would be handy --- sad if our best and brightest continue to emigrate. I wonder what the other one is doing in RUssia, not known for compassion or CBT. Stick with the social worker, and the work ( which always seems to help ) and good luck in CBT-therapist hunting. Surely there must be more in Pretoria ? Yes, best to move to a psychiarist who will be stable and available. So many seem to have itchy feet these days --- though I'd think with the universal economic chaos, there qwould be fewer opportunities for them to move. Anyhow, at least in your case, the patient, though still deserving more help, seems to be more stable than her therapists !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Anon2 | 2009-03-23

I’ ve made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The one I’ ve been seeing for years is going away again. It is no use trying to stay with him. The other psychologists treated me last year when I was in hospital.

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