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Question
Posted by: Jen | 2012-07-19

Lie detector

I lied 5 years ago to my boyfriend and told him I had had a 3some before knowing him. My ex had always wanted me to participate in one and I wrongly thought it was something that impressed men. A couple of weeks after the lie I admitted that I had lied to wrongly try impress him and that it was wrong and childish Now after 5 years of torture and forever having the lie thrown in my face and blamed for everything that goes wrong he now wants me to take a lie detector test. I have no problem taking the test but am worried that because I''ll be anxious I might fail. I DID NOT have a 3some and yes it was a huge mistake to lie and say I did but for how long is he going to punish me for it. What must I do?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Only a fairly pathetic man would be impressed at such news. But it does sound as though he has grossly over-reacted for these 5 years, and demanding a lie detector test now is ridiculous. And not only are lie detectors much more inaccurate than most people seem to assume, but i a situation like this they're certain to be unhelpful. Nothing measures whether or not you are lying - these systems pick up whether you are upset and anxious or not, and if you feel awful about the whole process, it'd probably give you a positive response whether you were telling a lie, the truth, or singing the national anthem.
The greater puzzle is why you have chosen to remain with someone with such a neurotic obsession about this, and who apparently treats you so badly about it.
I

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7
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2012-07-23

Hi again.
Sorry, what I meant was " How pathetic" can this bayfriend be? You should dump him and move on for he obviously does not think much of you if he want to put you through this process. You do not deserve this.
To the " troll" ... ja whatever.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: Believer | 2012-07-21

Hi. I would like to add my experience regards the so called Lie Detector. Whether or not you take it is not the issue, its the reliability on that I wish to coment. Believe me, it does work. The professionals are able to determine quite accurately if you are lying or not, irrespective of you being " nervous" . It wont work if you try to " test"  the system or use it in party games, but IF there is an element of fear of having your lie uncovered, it will do that with great accuracy. Believe me, it works !!

Reply to Believer
Posted by: Liza | 2012-07-20

@Jen - Unfortunately open forums will always attract trolls. If we don''t feed the trolls, they leave and don''t come back, so it''s usually just best to ignore them completely. CS can see from which IP address posts were made and thus knows whether they''re from the same person who posted under that name before. Your simple message that it wasn''t you is enough for the rest of us. I think that most of the regulars have been spoofed by trolls...

Good Luck
Liza

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Jen | 2012-07-20

WTF? The reply from Jen telling @Romany to Fu#k off was not from me (Genuine Jen). Someone else has posted that.

Reply to Jen
Posted by: Jen | 2012-07-20

Thank you DOC for your time.

@ Romany

Fu#k off. You are the pathetic one

Reply to Jen
Posted by: Romany | 2012-07-19

Just dump the boyfriend. OMW how pathetic.....

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-07-19

Only a fairly pathetic man would be impressed at such news. But it does sound as though he has grossly over-reacted for these 5 years, and demanding a lie detector test now is ridiculous. And not only are lie detectors much more inaccurate than most people seem to assume, but i a situation like this they're certain to be unhelpful. Nothing measures whether or not you are lying - these systems pick up whether you are upset and anxious or not, and if you feel awful about the whole process, it'd probably give you a positive response whether you were telling a lie, the truth, or singing the national anthem.
The greater puzzle is why you have chosen to remain with someone with such a neurotic obsession about this, and who apparently treats you so badly about it.
I

Reply to cybershrink

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