Our expert says:
Consider seeing a personal counsellor / psychologist to work through and free yourself from the bonds of bitterness and anger that still tie you to him. The only power he has over you, is the power you give him through your anger.
It's not mean on your side, to recognize that it's unreasonably mean on his side, to expect you to provide food for the weekend the kids spend with him. If he can't aford to feed the kids, this means he can't afford to provide properly for them, and should not be allowed to have them stay with him. A supervised visit would be better, perhaps - and the real issue is what would be best for the kids, not for him.
If he has genuinely lost his job, then he may not have the money to pay in maintenance - but if he is in arrears, even from the time when he DID have a job, then it suggests he is just not prepared to support the kids whether or not he has a job or income.
Discuss with your lawyer whether he should be allowed to have the children spend days with him if he can't even afford to give them cereal or milk.
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