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Question
Posted by: Beyond Tired | 2011/04/06

Lethargy

Hi CS and others,
By the way, it might seem I don''t take the advice but I do, I don''t enjoy the drama, I again told him to leave and his response to this was that he would never leave me as I need him.

I will not change my will to leave anything to him, everything goes to my kids. The sarcasm you guys have shown to my posting I suppose I can understand, but you know when you meet someone you think they are nice, they show their best side and when they think they have you, the other side shows.

He had a key to my place, yes, so that he could assist me after the hysterectomy. He asked if he could move in and I said it would not be a good idea, and it hasn''t been. He said he would move out, but it is not going to happen. He simply ignores my requests. He believes that I won''t survive without him and I know I can. He can''t handle my mood swings and things like that, he keeps bringing alcohol into the house even though I have asked repeatedly that he doesn''t, I am an alcoholic as well.

This might sound silly considering all of the above but CS I am struggling to wake up in the mornings and have no will power to come to work, no drive, I don''t have a real position at the moment, helping out in various things that need to be done, I become redundant on the previous project and I do not want to be here at all. Guys please try not to be sarcastic.

Take care

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Even when you meet someone who seems to be life, you do NOT allow them to move in or take power over you until they have conclusively proved thair niceness. When he asked to move in, you shouldn't have said it wasn't a good idea - and the let him go ahead anyway ; you should have said NO. You keep on inviting exploitative problem people deep into your life, and then giving up on life rather than givin up on the bad guy and having him removed from your life.
You CAn do the right things, you know what they are, and you have done it before. So, go ahead.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Truth | 2011/04/06

This is not lethargy but laziness!
You know what to do but dont do it. It is hardly surprising people are not sympathetic but sarcastic.
L has responded VERY sensibly?

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Jannet | 2011/04/06

Beyond Tired, I know I was harsh in one of your previous posts, but that did not work, so now I will be nice.

I really feel sorry for you and I know it''s so easy to criticise and tell you what to do, specially if one is not in the same situation but please try to get rid of this guy. It is clear that he does not feel anything for you otherwise he would have tried to help you, not bring alcohol into your house.

I really think that you will be a different, happier person if only you can get rid of this guy. Maybe you can get your locks changed?

Good luck, sorry for my previous post but I really hoped that my " touch love"  approach would have helped you.

Reply to Jannet
Posted by: L | 2011/04/06

do you want to complain, or do you want this guy out? really, by posting day after day will not make the guy disappear....you actually have to do more than type way on a keyboard

phone your friends, change the locks, and tell him you are getting a restaining order out.



Reply to L
Posted by: Maria | 2011/04/06

BT, there is no way you can be motivated at work while your home life is such a burden. You need to make a plan. Write it down. Step 1: buy new locks. Step 2: Decide on a day when I''m going to throw him out. Step 3: Ask x and y to come and help me. Step 4.... etc. Then attach a specific date and time to each step. Break it down to the smallest possible increments so that you don''t have to think when the time comes to act, you can just blindly follow the instructions you wrote down for yourself. Is there anybody you can ask to physically help and support you in this process?

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Liza | 2011/04/06

We''ve already given you all the advice you need. So when are you going to put his stuff on the pavement, change the locks and get an interdict against him?

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Lin | 2011/04/06

No wonder you don''t have the willpower to get up in the mornings. Kick this guy out. Throw out all his stuff. Change the locks. You can even get a restraining order against him if needed.
Do not let this guy dictate your life.

Reply to Lin
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/04/06

Even when you meet someone who seems to be life, you do NOT allow them to move in or take power over you until they have conclusively proved thair niceness. When he asked to move in, you shouldn't have said it wasn't a good idea - and the let him go ahead anyway ; you should have said NO. You keep on inviting exploitative problem people deep into your life, and then giving up on life rather than givin up on the bad guy and having him removed from your life.
You CAn do the right things, you know what they are, and you have done it before. So, go ahead.

Reply to cybershrink

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