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Question
Posted by: ANNIE | 2010/01/11

Last longer - how to ?

How can my husband prolong the penetration in lovemaking ? Is there anything he could buy off the shelf ? I really dont want to do it by prolonging foreplay - cos that still means the actual penetration won' t last. He is 30 years old , so he doesnt have any sexual issues - just doesnt last long enough.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

your description of your your husband's difficulty fits the description of Premature Ejaculation(PE) . While it might be important to differentiate PE from erection problems as the treatments are different, he will benefit greatly from a visit to the doctor as there are medications and techniques which can aid him greatly.
These medications are antidepressant medication which have an effect on delaying ejaculation but this is an off label use .

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Annie | 2010/01/12

AJ

Well I have to be honest I really do want to experience the long session of just pumping as u put it. Then I suppose u have put me into perspective that this can' t really happen in real life without sex aids. To be honest I had no idea the average man lasted about 2 .5 minutes.
Now I think I can accept having a short period of penetration, but will certainly try some of your advised methods.

Reply to Annie
Posted by: AJ | 2010/01/12

You' ve really found a keeper then, and this makes the situation much easier. Try some of those methods and just have fun with it. When people talk about making it last a long time, it doesn' t mean pumping in, out, in out like a jackhammer for 40 minutes solid. You have to do it for a bit, then stop, then change positions and do it a bit. Do it really slowly, all the way in, then all the way out. Then small movements, barely moving at all. Change positions again. Hold it in and kiss for a while. Then move in and out again. If he feels himself getting close, just stop pumping and wait for the feeling to subside, then go again. Try to get to 15 minutes. then longer. Time yourselves if you like. Have fun with it. Also those other things do help. The desensitising spray is developed exactly for this kind of thing. Don' t be scared to go into a sex shop and ask them for a bottle, I don' t think it' s overly expensive. Very thick condoms do help a lot too, especially with uncircumcised men (because it stops the foreskin from moving back and exposing the more sensitive head). Let us know if anything helps.

Reply to AJ
Posted by: Annie | 2010/01/12

AJ,

Actually its my hubby that wants to last longer and well I am just happy he wants to last longer. He doesnt go soft on me - he just comes to too quick. We have a very open minded relationship and he actually doesnt mind me telling him if I wasn' t satisfied. We' re married long enough , not to get upset over small issues. We always try our best to keep each other happy, and aren t shy to express ourselves at all.

Reply to Annie
Posted by: AJ | 2010/01/12

Annie, I' m afraid it' s quite common for a guy to get on the job and get done in 10 or fewer minutes. It really doesn' t take that long for a guy to cum if that is his intention. As a guy myself, sometimes that' s all I want - a quick bonk and cum with my partner and then it' s time to go to sleep. It' s probably over in 5 minutes. However, with some effort it is possible for the guy to go on for a very long time, even an hour or more. When I found out that my partner enjoyed going at it for a long time I made an effort to prolong things(when time allowed). I only found out when my partner told me though. I thought I would just be wasting time or would make them bored if I went on for longer. As far as prolonging things goes, you might like to look up Tantric sex as a way of prolonging things or try different or varying positions and methods. But before I go on with that, I must say that this sounds very much like you are doing all the asking on here and thinking about it by yourself, not involving or talking about your hubby. Perhaps he doesn' t want to bother with prolonging things since it feels good enough for him and seems to be working just fine. Maybe he even thinks it is great for you too! It' s a very tricky thing to tell a guy he is " not good in bed" , so make sure if you do this that you make it clear he is not good YET and that there are things you would like to try to make it better. (And point out that you still love him and enjoy his attempts and the potential the lovemaking has to be great). But if he is not willing to change his " style" , then honey, I' m afraid you' ll have to live with it and maybe even just be happy you' re getting something at all! You could also go for counselling or find ways of dealing with that side of the problem (him not willing to please you) and work on that together.

I just wanted to point that out first. Of course, if he realises there is a problem too and WANTS to do something about it, then yes, there are methods to help. A big part of the answer does depend on the counter question that was raised earlier. Is it a matter of him going soft too soon or being hard but cumming too soon for you? These are dealt with slightly differently. The main common tips for prolonging things are to use a condom, use a desensitising spray (from Adult World etc), learn withholding techniques (plateaux technique for guys) as taught in Tantric sex or stop go method, and as a last thought, why not incorporate a sex toy into your foreplay? Good luck.

Reply to AJ
Posted by: XXX | 2010/01/12

He can use Stud 100 which is a delay spray on his penis.Clearly,practise makes perfect as well.
You might not know that the average time a man takes to orgasm is supposedly 2 1/2 minutes,so at 5-10 minutes you are doing ok.
Yes I know we all strive to last longer ie 20 - 30 mins is always better and more satisfying

Reply to XXX
Posted by: Just asking | 2010/01/11

Hi Annie. Does he cum too quickly or does he go soft on you ?

Reply to Just asking
Posted by: Just asking | 2010/01/11

Hi Annie. Does he cum too quickly or does he go soft on you ?

Reply to Just asking
Posted by: Listen | 2010/01/11

There are products on the market in adult stores that would work but often cause infections or are uncomfortable for the woman. You might find something that works. I suggest you both try techniques to postpone ejaculation which can be found in certain literature. You could discuss with him and try wearing a condom to prolong...

Reply to Listen
Posted by: Annie | 2010/01/11

Well the penetration lasts about 5-10 minutes. I would at least appreciate 30 minutes - if thats even possible ?

Reply to Annie
Posted by: Wicky | 2010/01/11

Hi Annie

Sure something like Viagra will giv you what you want

Reply to Wicky
Posted by: Listen | 2010/01/11

How long is not long enough Annie?

Reply to Listen

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