Our expert says:
the fact that she does enjoy sex when your'l do have it, may indicate that your wife has a desire problem which can be due to many factors (medical and psychological, including stress).
discuss your concern with your wife and contemplate seeing a couple's counsellor/sexologist to identify the cause and possible solutions to her decreased desire.
also indicate to your wife the ripple effect it is having on your erections and highlight things that she can do to help keep you aroused in bed.
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