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Question
Posted by: dogter XXX | 2010-05-01

Kwaad/gebreek/ n wrok

Die saak is tussen my en my ma. Voor die gebeurtenis plaas gevind het, het ons n goeie verhouding gehad. (Dit was presies nou n jaar terug) Ek het gesit en gedink, hoekom ons verhouding versleg het, en dit kom terug na die voorval...Wat jare terug gebeur het..met haar as persoon..

Op die ouderdom van 9jaar oud is sy deur haar ouer broer en 2 van sy vriende verkrag.. Daai jare het sy vir niemand daarvan vertel nie sy is nou 66jaar. (Ek dink daai onderwerp was verband).. Ek het die einste broer in my huis geneem, en vir hom gesorg. Tot my ma breekpunt bereik het en my vertel.. Ek was, is so kwaad gewees, ek meen dit is MY ma, wie het hom die reg gegee, Ek het so vinnig ontslae van hom geraak, maar nooit reguit vir hom gese waaroor dit gaan nie.. Tot hy eendag gebel het, en dit herken het aan my wat hy gedoen het.. Kontak is n hele ruk terug gebreek met hom en haar suster..

Van daai dag wat ek gehoor het, is daar n " gap"  in ons verhouding, ons sal oor die algemene goed praat, maar ek kan nie soos gewoonlik met haar praat nie,, dit pla my, ek het n wrok ek sal daai mans mens iets aan doen.. En ek voel net as sy my van die begin gese het, voor ons hom in die huis geneem het, sou ek dan nee gese het, maar sy het nie,,, Ek weet nie wat of hoe om op te tree nie, met wie moet ek praat?? moet ek stil bly, as ek alleen is weg van almal voel dit ek kan ontspan en myself wees,,,,Sodra ek my ma sien kom daai gesprek in my gedagtes op.. Ek weet dit was nie haar skuld nie,, en sy het nie nodig om verskoning te vra nie, maar sy het ons altyd geleer niemand mag aan jou raak nie, en indien kom praat,,, Hoekom het sy nie!!???

Wat moet ek doen, asb ek het raad nodig, ek is lief vir my ma, en weet nie meer hoe om met haar te praat nie, en waaroor praat ons????

Ek is so moeg help my

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You could disuss all this with a personal counsellor, who could help you to plan what else you could do which could be helpful for you and for your mother. She, too, could be helped by counselling, which she really deserves, but she may be reluctant to admit this at this stage. She may feel bad for having revealed to you something she feels ashamed of and a situation in which she maybe didn't behave ( for very understandbale reasons ) in the way she encouraged you to behave. Meantime, why not just sit calmly with her and tell her how much you love and respect her. And maybe mention that you are so concerned about what happened to her, and want to be helpful for her, but don't know how to do it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-02

You could disuss all this with a personal counsellor, who could help you to plan what else you could do which could be helpful for you and for your mother. She, too, could be helped by counselling, which she really deserves, but she may be reluctant to admit this at this stage. She may feel bad for having revealed to you something she feels ashamed of and a situation in which she maybe didn't behave ( for very understandbale reasons ) in the way she encouraged you to behave. Meantime, why not just sit calmly with her and tell her how much you love and respect her. And maybe mention that you are so concerned about what happened to her, and want to be helpful for her, but don't know how to do it.

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