Our expert says:
I suppose many prople try harder when they're trying to woo someone, to convince you to enter into a relationship with them, and when you're together, they stop trying so hard. Their grooming slips, their other priorities come into play, and so on. Planning a wedding without involving you seems odd ( especially as most men are reluctant to get into wedding planning at all, if they can avoid it ).
He should see a CBT counsellot, and learn the many clean ways to destress without depending on alcohol. Like many people, his attempts to avoid getting hurt again may be actively creating hurt for him. Counselling does sound like a good option. And if Huh is right, he will refuse , and then you should reconsider your options, and think about whether he is capable of a real relationship at this time, or is looking for a caregiver rather than a partner ?
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