Our expert says:
He needs to realize that when one is married, one has no more right to a "private life", especially not a private sex life, and to consider it none of one's partner's business. Does he consier that you have an equal right to a "private life" within the mariage, including anything, sexual or otherwise, as you fancy ? I somehow doubt that !
Now, it is both understandable that you remain curious, and important to recognize that even if he told you everything he can recall, with videotapes and photos, that wouldn't actually satisfy you or make you feel better. nor help you to trust him. Trust will be about what he has done since, and what he is doing now, not actually about whatever he did then.
This is where mariage counselling could be useful, not about pursuing one specific line of questions, but working on the larger picture, of integrity and trust, which you wisely raise.
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