Our expert says:
Divorce support expert
Hello and thank you for writing your concern.
I am curious though as to how a child under 10 years old gets on the subject of name changing?
However, this is a very personal issue which needs to be addressed very thoughtfully. Is this about changing name for practical reason or to make a statement that the biological father is not there father anymore? I tend to believe, that no matter how little a relationship a child may have with the less present parent, in this case his father, he shouldn't be made to call the "step"parent Dad or look at him him as his father. The reality is, he has father. This is something very precious. Your sons are fortunate to have another male figure in their life who obviously cares for them. I wouldn't confused the two. If you support this change in name, think very carefully at your motives and the implications, but this maybe seen as denying them the right to recognise their biological father and therefore half of who your children are. I do not know the exact nature of your situation and the relationship of all the party concerned, but if you were asked to give this advice to a friend, what would you say? Connect with what feels right and follow your instinct bearing in mind the children's interests are top of the list.
I hope this helps.
Love and Gratitude
SADSA | The South African Divorce Support Association
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