Posted by: Me | 2009-02-03

Kids and the things they get up to

I have a son of 6, my sister has a stepdaughter of 8. Over the weekend the two of them were playing in the bedroom alone. When my son came out of the room he was visibly excited (he had a swimmong costume on so it was very noticable). My sister told me about it so I had a chat to him and tried to find out what was going on in the room. All he will say is that they were talking about " friends"  and she told him secrets and made him promise not to tell anybody. If I ask him what the secrets are about he says he can' t remember.

The little girl is exposed to unsavoury stuff at her mothers house, including the fact that her grandfather insists that she sleeps in the same bed as him when the mother has to many people in the house and not enough beds. The grandmother then sleeps with her brother.

This is not the first incident that has happened with her but the first time my son has been involved. How can I draw the information out of him and what do I say to him so that he will not get into the same situation again.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Of course I understand your concerns. Pushing your son too hard for the information you seek, would probably make him all the more likely to "forget" it. It sounds as though circumstances at the little girl's house may be odd, and maybe child welfare might become interested in checking on that. Otherwise, while parents are understandably anxious about signs that their children may have become involved in at least sex-talk with another child, this happens far more often that we are aware of, and apparently without causing any harm. Rather many adults recall such incidents in their own childhood, and have grown up just fine.
Maybe let this rest a few days, then become more involved in pleasant, relaxed, parent-child chats with your boy --- about school, friends, and then about what he knows and thinks about this girl's family and what they do in that home ; and make it clear to him that if he comes across anything which bothers him or which he doesn['t understand, he's welcome to chat to you about it and to ask relevant questions.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Soul | 2009-02-03

I agree with CS, I also wouldn' t allow him to be alone in a room with her or anyother child rather safe than sorry.

Reply to Soul

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