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Question
Posted by: christa | 2011-10-14

kids and sexeducation

Hi, I am the mom of a 8 yr old boy......We allready had the whole sextalk thing,allso baught him a book that is age appropriate with nice pictures for kids explaining everything......To my surprise some of his much older friends, in their teens told him what to search on internet to watch porn!!!!, I didn t see this coming, so now I have all the kids filters on my pc! What concern me is that he was exposed to hard porn, even videos! He says that he is curious and wants to know exactly how sex works and look like.....i told him he is to young, religion, it can be harmfull, be carefull for molestation, exct. But he is to young to understand the damage or potential thread in watching porn exct. Any suggestions on how to protect my son?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Christa, you are now confronted with a parent's biggest problem. I do not how we can truly protect our children these days with the overload and accessibility of information!He is too young to be exposed to this and technically (from a legal and psychosocial point of view, the 'much older friends' showing him how to get the information can be found guilty under the Sexual offenses act of 2007 of 'grooming' and even sexual assault (exposing a child to that constitutes sexual abuse).

At this age his value system is forming and this can harm him for the rest of his life. His curiosity in this regard could already suggest previous exposure to sexual abuse (remember sexual abuse can be anything form nudity, porn, grooming up to penetrative sex).

You can protect him by changing these older friends and talking to your child about what is age appropriate etc. We as parents have a 24/7 obligation to guard them till they can make meaningful decisions based on values with good social judgment.

A nice way to explain to him what sex is all about is to ask him to collect a very heavy bag for you (something you know he will not be able to carry or manage). When he complains he can not do it, you can explain to him that one has to 'grow' into certain things in life. You can only carry such a heavy bag if you are strong and big enough.

Similarly sex is something you understand when you grow up and is strong enough to handle properly.

I would not even debate this further - after all, you will not allow him to play with a gun or even negotiate his wish to play with a gun?Sex for such a young child is worse! It may be good to consult with a good social worker that she assess him and advice you on the way forward. Deidre - SASHA

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: JR | 2011-10-17

And the older children''s parents need to be informed of this nonsense.

Reply to JR
Posted by: sexologist | 2011-10-14

Christa, you are now confronted with a parent's biggest problem. I do not how we can truly protect our children these days with the overload and accessibility of information!He is too young to be exposed to this and technically (from a legal and psychosocial point of view, the 'much older friends' showing him how to get the information can be found guilty under the Sexual offenses act of 2007 of 'grooming' and even sexual assault (exposing a child to that constitutes sexual abuse).

At this age his value system is forming and this can harm him for the rest of his life. His curiosity in this regard could already suggest previous exposure to sexual abuse (remember sexual abuse can be anything form nudity, porn, grooming up to penetrative sex).

You can protect him by changing these older friends and talking to your child about what is age appropriate etc. We as parents have a 24/7 obligation to guard them till they can make meaningful decisions based on values with good social judgment.

A nice way to explain to him what sex is all about is to ask him to collect a very heavy bag for you (something you know he will not be able to carry or manage). When he complains he can not do it, you can explain to him that one has to 'grow' into certain things in life. You can only carry such a heavy bag if you are strong and big enough.

Similarly sex is something you understand when you grow up and is strong enough to handle properly.

I would not even debate this further - after all, you will not allow him to play with a gun or even negotiate his wish to play with a gun?Sex for such a young child is worse! It may be good to consult with a good social worker that she assess him and advice you on the way forward. Deidre - SASHA

Reply to sexologist

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