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Question
Posted by: Jacky | 2011/01/06

Kids

Hi There

My son 4yrs going on to 5 just does not like going to crech.
It''s always a mission to get him in the car but once he''s there
he has a jolly time. I phoned the crech and all is well, not getting bullied or anything, is this normal? My son also does not like alot of friends only 1 at a time and according to the teachers he is very calm and a very good boy (not at home thow!!) Also is it normal for him to have diffuculty finishing a story or sentances at his age? Another question, I have twins which is a year and six months - how do u handle the jealousy between the 3?
I try to give them all the same amount of attetion but mostly my son demands more. They always hurt each other to be able to get to me (or on top of me LOL)

Best wishes for 2011

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Is he reluctant to go elsewhere where he may be separated from you ? ( maybe to spend some time with a relative, baby-sitter, whatever ) ? In which case there could be a significant element of separation anxiety at play here. Or is it very specifically the creche he does not want to go to or be left at ? If so, it points to something troubling at the creche. From your description, he sounds more reluctant to leave home, than reluctant to be at the creche, though. And this can be normal for a kid who's just happy at home.
He sounds as though he's behaving admirably at creche, and there's no problem with a kid preferring to focus on one friend at a time. Some of us are more gregarious than others.
The issue of difficulty in not finishing a sentence or story is harder to assess at a distance, and could be best assessed, along with your other concerns, by a child shrink, but is probably not a substantial problem if he is coping well with the various activities at the creche. Maybe he's just easily distracted and if it's a long story or sentence, he's eager to rush on to the next before finishing the first ?
As for the degree of rivalry. maybe chat to the older guy ( at 5 he should be able to enjoy this ) and point out that it's difficult for you when they compete with each other for your attention, and ask for his help, as the Big guy around, to help care for the others, or to let them have first attentions from you ( as they're the Little Guys and less able to wait patiently, like he is )


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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Jacky | 2011/01/10

Yes, he is reluctend to visit anywhere else and since he was a baby he had separation anxiety - so how do I fix this?

Thank you for your advise!!

Reply to Jacky
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/01/08

Is he reluctant to go elsewhere where he may be separated from you ? ( maybe to spend some time with a relative, baby-sitter, whatever ) ? In which case there could be a significant element of separation anxiety at play here. Or is it very specifically the creche he does not want to go to or be left at ? If so, it points to something troubling at the creche. From your description, he sounds more reluctant to leave home, than reluctant to be at the creche, though. And this can be normal for a kid who's just happy at home.
He sounds as though he's behaving admirably at creche, and there's no problem with a kid preferring to focus on one friend at a time. Some of us are more gregarious than others.
The issue of difficulty in not finishing a sentence or story is harder to assess at a distance, and could be best assessed, along with your other concerns, by a child shrink, but is probably not a substantial problem if he is coping well with the various activities at the creche. Maybe he's just easily distracted and if it's a long story or sentence, he's eager to rush on to the next before finishing the first ?
As for the degree of rivalry. maybe chat to the older guy ( at 5 he should be able to enjoy this ) and point out that it's difficult for you when they compete with each other for your attention, and ask for his help, as the Big guy around, to help care for the others, or to let them have first attentions from you ( as they're the Little Guys and less able to wait patiently, like he is )


Reply to cybershrink

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