Our expert says:
You have no need to give up, and don't deserve to give up. Stick it out, and one day you'll find this is all over and your new life has begun, right here.
Sounds like there's a real Depression there, which typically amplifies our sense of guilt, even inappropriate guilt.
DO, please, see a good local specialist psychiatrist ( you deserve nothing less ) for a full assessment ( and be entirely frank with him about how you have been feeling ) and a discussion of treatment options. It isn't necessary for you to continue to feel this bad, and with proper treatment you could be feling far better and finding happier aspects to life
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