advertisement
Question
Posted by: Loving Husband | 2011-09-01

Just wondering, Do woman enjoy Sex

which has a bigger,greater, sex urge Male or Female,
Im married now for 10 years and I love to have sex with my wife, If I don''t initiate it, nothing happens for months. Yes, im good, help with the chores around the house, kids etc, Yes buy flowers every so often,I know im not alone, but are there woman who enjoy having sex like 2-3 times a week or even every day

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It is very common that in the beginning of relationships women are more able to match male libido; frequency is often not problematic early on. There ARE women who continue to enjoy relatively frequent sex into their marriage or long term relationship, but it is very common that several years into a relationship women (up to 50%) experience a significant reduction in their libido (spontaneous desire/hunger)and have to choose to be sexual. The problem is that because the appetite has reduced, sexual responding (including willingness to initiate, explore and respond easily) diminishes. Women in such situations need to learn to 'drive' their response as best they can to try to meet their partner part of the way. The quality of the relationship can help (so your doing your part in the house and showing her you love her is not lost), but your wife may also need to learn how to 'drive' her response in order to go some way to meet some of your needs too.

Claire - SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com


The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

11
Our users say:
Posted by: Sue | 2011-09-06

No we do not enjoy sex, otherwise most men would not complain so much....
Maybe we are just interested in sex or just like it but it''s not something we enjoy like going out with the gals, eating chocolate, him paying off that car...

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Mohammed | 2011-09-02

Yup, women enjoy 3-some too.

Reply to Mohammed
Posted by: Another male | 2011-09-02

Interesting post. I had enough and left......
I worked enough overtime to pay off the house by the time I was 43 and also did the cooking, vacuuming, house chores plus the pool, garden(when the gardner vanished) bought the flowers, gifts, made sure we had a stunning home, serviced the cars, we went on overseas holidays...the list is endless. Yet I still had to chase and chase and chase. Nah......
Funny how 10 days after the divorce I met someone who obviously could see and appreciated my talents. 11 years later we are still both doing the chores together, and that includes regularly servicing the topic of discussion...
:-) :-) Brilliant!

Reply to Another male
Posted by: XXX | 2011-09-02

I would say that men generally do have a stronger libido than women.
A woman needs the " foreplay"  to start before they get into bed that is,touch/kiss her etc in the kitchen/tv room.Help her with the kids'' homework,in the kitchen etc.
If a women''s " head"  is not into it,it is unlikely you are going to get sex and if you do,it is pretty meaningless.
I firmly believe that most women do not understand the importance of sex in a relationship.
When drawing a picture of what it requires to have a loving relationship,the bricks will be things like love/loyalty/trust etc etc and the cement is SEX.As with a house,if the cement (sex) starts crumbling,the house (relationship) will also falter

Reply to XXX
Posted by: kevim | 2011-09-02

To a Female: so what you are telling us is that your hubby must do everything for you to get sex, he basicley pay for sex and don''t see your self as a whore. You are so full of your self that if your hubby say a word about you attetude you will put his sh#t outside, it seem like one way street. Only you can make the rules. Then you whant to tell us that that we got our selfs to blame. I think your hubby is so scared to go home to the dragon every day because only your word is law and he cant say a thing or he is locked out of HIS house.

Reply to kevim
Posted by: Manwood | 2011-09-02

To A FEMALE: this is exactly part of the problem...you ladies talk too much and do too little.
I''m not gonna try and defend ''mankind'' because I know I do all that you''ve mentioned, if not more. I provide for my family, get home and bath the kids, do dishes, make beds, sweep and clean the floors, vacuum, clean the garage, make improvements around the house, cut the lawn, play and go cycle with my kids, don''t go out on boys nights to get drunk, take with wife out on romantic dinners etc etc etc. I just wish the sex was more frequent. Like 6 or 7 times a week (this after 7 years of marriage). You are defending wives out there - but let me tell you, even if we were perfect husbands and all nice and romantic, we would still not get enough sex from our wives. That is a fact and the majority (if not all) of the husbands will agree with me on this point!

Reply to Manwood
Posted by: Female Anon | 2011-09-02

Yes I love it - And I would give anything to be able to have it 2 - 3 times a week.
I am in my 40''s hby nearing 50''s and he is just not bothered and he doesn''t do a 1/4 of what you do around the house.

I wish I could have more.

Reply to Female Anon
Posted by: a female | 2011-09-02

Yes, I am sure there are...
Once one had kids your body changes and you are not as confident and you do not feel as " sexy"  as you used to. Sorry, this is a female thing...
Also, we are not as " visually stimulated"  as men. ie. A man will watch a porn movie and then want sex with his wife.
I pretty much think some women can do without " sex"  but love " making love" .
So yes, we like the tender, romantic stuff.
Tiredness, stress, screaming children, dirty dishes, dust on the curtains, green swimming pool... all these little things BUG the living daylights out of us and will stay at the back of ourminds until sorted out. I think it s the " nest"  thing woman has.
However, a weekend in a cosy hotel, somewhere in the mountains, with a fire, bottle of red wine and a good meal.... now that takes all the worries out of my mind and I love " making love"  in this stress free environment.
Then, to MANWOOD. We would like our men to be excellent providers, to give us security in all ways, financially and to feel safe, wanted and pampered. We would love our men to love only us. To not ogle everything with a dress on and a pair of legs that can open. That can find their own way around the kitchen and feed themselves and maybe even us, when all we want to do some time is just sit with our feed up. We love our men to SHARE the responsibility of bringing up the children and maybe some time even take the children out on their own so we can just have some " me time" . We do not like our men to be " porn stars" , we like them to be tender lovers that make us feel wanted and special. We are not whores. You are not paying for the " sex" .
We do not like our men to tell us to " catch a wake up" . This type of behaviour will get you nowhere. We will slowely but surely (similar to the pace in which your tummy grows, your skin gets slack and your teeth yellows) start dispising you and start pushing you away. Slowely but surely.
We will start thriving on attention from others. We will no longer look pretty and dress nicely for you, we will do this to get the attention of others.
We hate men that think they are superior. We were made from your rib to be next to you. Not your toe so you can stand on us and not your head so we can be above you either.
If your wife is not what you want in the bedroom department, sorry, you HAVE ONLY YOURSELF TO BLAME. We are what YOU make us.
ATTITUDE. ATTITUDE. If my husband has to tell me to " catch a wake up"  EVEN ONCE. He will come home and find his " sh!t"  on the pavement outside his own house.
Try this change of attitude, you do not have to thak me later.

Reply to a female
Posted by: Manwood | 2011-09-02

I think a lot of husbands find themselves in the situation you describe, including myself. Some husbands go to the extreme and eventually cheat on their wives. Wives in turn need to catch a wake up. Males are by nature more horny and their need for sex more demanding. What you ulitmately want in a wife is a good cook in the kitchen, a loving mother to the kids and a pornstar in the bedroom. Unfortunately most wives meet the 1st and 2nd requirements but fall short on the 3rd (pornstar in the bedroom).

Reply to Manwood
Posted by: Anon | 2011-09-01

Yes, I would say there are, but then, maybe they dont have kids, hold down stressful jobs and then have to go home to cooking laundry and demanding husbands.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011-09-01

It is very common that in the beginning of relationships women are more able to match male libido; frequency is often not problematic early on. There ARE women who continue to enjoy relatively frequent sex into their marriage or long term relationship, but it is very common that several years into a relationship women (up to 50%) experience a significant reduction in their libido (spontaneous desire/hunger)and have to choose to be sexual. The problem is that because the appetite has reduced, sexual responding (including willingness to initiate, explore and respond easily) diminishes. Women in such situations need to learn to 'drive' their response as best they can to try to meet their partner part of the way. The quality of the relationship can help (so your doing your part in the house and showing her you love her is not lost), but your wife may also need to learn how to 'drive' her response in order to go some way to meet some of your needs too.

Claire - SASHA

For further information please consult SASHA's website at www.sexualhealth.qw.co.za/dru For referral to a professional in your vicinity, please send an email to helpline.sasha@gmail.com


Reply to Sexologist

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement