Posted by: Anon | 2009-01-20

Just want to curl up and die

I seem to not want to succeed in life anymore. I have lost all motivation and ambition. A couple of years ago I was a victim of violent crime, from there I lost everything that was important, my relationship, my house and everything that seemed to make life worthwhile. I have become a single parent, forced to work full time because of it, and just cant seem to find any satisfaction anymore. Most nights I cry myself to sleep regretting the fact that both my son and I were not killed that night. Because of everything I have been forced to move in with my parents, and its not like we got on before, its more all on a pretence everything is fine scenario. I have a good job, but I hate it because it is not what I want, everything has just become a means to an end. Everyone around me thinks that my life is back on track, and they all comment how strong blah blah, but the truth of the matter is that I am slowly dying inside. I now live in a single bedroom I share with my son, because I do not want to see or hear other people - so its easier just to hide away, I have cut off all my friends excluding one (this is because I stay at home with parents who do not respect my privacy or space). I am becoming more and more reclusive and the thing is that this is what I want, I don’ t want to be with people, I don’ t want to succeed at my job, I cant afford to move out so thats not an option, I do not have funds to go for therapy, and lets face it, any form of therapy is not going to change my life and let things go back to where they were two years ago I just don’ t know where to turn anymore. The only reason I bother waking up is for the sake of my son, if he was not around, I would just move out on to the streets and vanish - obviously not an option right now tho

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I;m so very sorry to hear about this, a. Whatever else is happening you sound Depressed as well as discouraged. And there are probably other psychological effects of the trauma to which you were exposed. And I've noticed, from my own experience, how often when people seem to be praising you for "how strong" you are, they are actually giving you instructions to be strong, because the stronger you are, the less they need to feel they should do something to help.
Therapy can indeed change one's life, but not usually primarily by changing the external situations, but by changing the way you choose to respond to them. Its not a question of being able to go back to where things were, but of finding a better place to be now and in the future, of building an acceptably content future for both of you. You don't mention where you are, but check out what psych facilities are available at your nearest medical school, or large state hospital. Call FAMSA, which can advise on reasonably priced counsellors you might see in addition. You need and deserve proper treatment of your state of mind, and can and will ( if you allow it to happen ) be feeling more positive and hslpful before long.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Mthizo | 2009-01-20


Please just hang in there,we all going some difficult times in our lives.Everything will be ok,have faith in the Lord,He is the alpha and Omega.Be strong for the sake of your son as well as for you and your health.

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