Our expert says:
OK. "Extreme mood disorder" is not an oficially recognized diagnosis, and I'm not at all sure what it means. However, it sounds as though you realize what is going wrong - when you are on meds whioch actually help, you have been sabotaging yourself by stopping them far too early - NEVER stop meds ( except in an emergency ) without the advice of your shrink.
This is something you need to discuss with your shrink.
What you need to call quits to, is not existience itself, but this unwise habit of stopping useful meds when you most need them. It's like having a broken leg, and cutting off the plaster just when the bone is starting to heal.
You KNOW the meds CAN help - get them, take them properly in the right way and at the right dose, and STAY on them for as long as necessary, and on the advice of your doc. This WILL get you out of the bad place you have reached - the new goal, once you're out of that, is to work out a more reasonable way of staying out of the dark places. You can do it. Just keep working on it, as you deserve to be as well as you can get
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