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Question
Posted by: Mindlos | 2012/03/09

Just Concerned

Doc just as a matter of interest. I have been to church almost all my life and I am 30 years old. Two years ago decided to quit since I felt that we were constantly made to feel that we are not good enough to handle our challenges despite us going thru challenges and overcome. I mean if you have been to church you know what am talking about.

So I love visiting this forum and I must say I learn a lot, however I am picking up the trend again. The trend is that you always advise people to seek some counselling(either from Pyschologist, Psychotherapist or shrink etc). Even in cases where one knows for sure they are the only ones who can provide the answer.

So this observation leads me to assert that, we are not good enough since we will always have to solicit some help from the so called a professional.

Read your resume and I am impressed that you are not just learned but have experienced challenges your self. So Doc when are we gonna start advising people to look into themselves for the solutions that they are seeking.

I hope I am making sense Doc, it really bothers me that we are never told that we are good enough. For instance past two years I resigned from my job and it was tough but I survived and I am sure we can all share our stories and how we triumphed and made it over. Yet when some problem arise and we share it either on this forum or share with a friend, we are told that we must see a professional somebody, what about reminding me how I survived unemployment and made it over.

Just concerned somebody

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Yes, I absolutely NEVER EVER recommend that someone see a cleric or religious figure for counselling on a life problem, because in my long experience, though clerics are often happy to opblige, they rarely have any actual skills and training to be effectively helpful.
Of course, if you searched my archives well, you'd see that when the person is speaking of a primarily faith-related, spiritual problem, I do advise them to seek religious advice, which shrinks are not qualified to give.
Now, I think we agree more than we disagree. You point out that in many situations, ultimately, the individual needs to find their solutions in themselves ( and, of course, to carry them out !). That is where any properly trained shrink would encourage them to do just that, rather than imposing solutions from the Great Book of Solutions. Why I recommend CBT so much is because that is exactly what that method does - helps the persopn review possible alternative approaches, to test and evaluate them, and then to choose their own Best Fit solution and to stick with it. And this is where I worry about religious figures who have NOT had proper training in this area of work, who tend to deal with problems and issues outside of their expertise, and too often try to impose solutions they hold with extreme certainty, whether or not they fit or suit the individual. One Size Fits All, as they used to say in adverts for support underwear !
Because ultimately the Answer needs to come from the individual, doesn't automatically mean every individual will be able on their own to discover it and operationalize it. And if you watch, often we are hearing from people who have already tried the solutions that they could think of, and when those don't work, are seeking further advice.
Also, because there are obvious limits on the extent to which through this forum mechanism we can ask all the relevant questions and review all the answers and work progressively through the various alternatives they have, its wise to advise they also consult a shrink, even for a couple of sessions, to do they necessary work in which their role shopuld be active and crucial.
You'll notice I never recommend forms of shrinkery such as hypnosis on its own ( in which someone alese takes pwer and responsibility from you and imposes a single solution they devise ) ; or psychoanalysis, because it also works from fixed principles, disempowers he individual, and tends to take years to achieve very little.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Mindlos | 2012/03/12

Thanks Doc, finally some non-defensive response. Its funny how at times people get offended when I raise such issues. Christians look at me as I have just asked them to help me rob the old age home. Thanks Doc.

I am an Accountant and I would love to do what you are doing one day. Any ideas in terms of literature.

Many thanks

Reply to Mindlos
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/03/09

Yes, I absolutely NEVER EVER recommend that someone see a cleric or religious figure for counselling on a life problem, because in my long experience, though clerics are often happy to opblige, they rarely have any actual skills and training to be effectively helpful.
Of course, if you searched my archives well, you'd see that when the person is speaking of a primarily faith-related, spiritual problem, I do advise them to seek religious advice, which shrinks are not qualified to give.
Now, I think we agree more than we disagree. You point out that in many situations, ultimately, the individual needs to find their solutions in themselves ( and, of course, to carry them out !). That is where any properly trained shrink would encourage them to do just that, rather than imposing solutions from the Great Book of Solutions. Why I recommend CBT so much is because that is exactly what that method does - helps the persopn review possible alternative approaches, to test and evaluate them, and then to choose their own Best Fit solution and to stick with it. And this is where I worry about religious figures who have NOT had proper training in this area of work, who tend to deal with problems and issues outside of their expertise, and too often try to impose solutions they hold with extreme certainty, whether or not they fit or suit the individual. One Size Fits All, as they used to say in adverts for support underwear !
Because ultimately the Answer needs to come from the individual, doesn't automatically mean every individual will be able on their own to discover it and operationalize it. And if you watch, often we are hearing from people who have already tried the solutions that they could think of, and when those don't work, are seeking further advice.
Also, because there are obvious limits on the extent to which through this forum mechanism we can ask all the relevant questions and review all the answers and work progressively through the various alternatives they have, its wise to advise they also consult a shrink, even for a couple of sessions, to do they necessary work in which their role shopuld be active and crucial.
You'll notice I never recommend forms of shrinkery such as hypnosis on its own ( in which someone alese takes pwer and responsibility from you and imposes a single solution they devise ) ; or psychoanalysis, because it also works from fixed principles, disempowers he individual, and tends to take years to achieve very little.

Reply to cybershrink

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