Our expert says:
Guys, please do try to edit down these exceedingly long and packed postings, as its really hard to read and make sense of them. Editing is a really valuable skill to learn.
A miserable childhood is indeed a sad thing to experience - but whereas most of us leave our childhood behind us, and move on to other things, it sounds as though you pull it around behind you all through life, like a gloomy caravan.
It is really important for you to work with a good psychologist / therapist to work through all these nasty experiences so as to be able to move on with a happier part of your life, laving those burdens behind you. How sad that you had such a monstrous father. But he is not here now, and should not be invited to share any of your day with you. YOu raise very important and complx questions, but these really HAVE to be dealt with in proper psychotherapy with a skilled therapist / psychologist, who can help you work through all the issues and to set yourself fre. It is possible, and important, and well worth doing
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