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Question
Posted by: Lebo | 2012-09-19

Jelous insecure

Hi Doc
I am in a predicament in a relationship with a jelous possesive man i have had to explain myself to him since our relationship started especially about my male friends or collegues was a called a slut all the names u can think off. I am pregnant my last trimester with his kid but he still questions me.I stopped communication with all the males i knew before him changed my cell is still didnt help now I am silent.No talkin no explaining just yes n no answers only i hv a dr app i reminded him he said i must ask my male collegues to take me i just kept silent unlike before i wud argue about it. What I wanna knw is will my approach work meaning being silent and not responding to all his insecirities like i did before and I am thinking of telling his family as well I honestly cant cope
advise Please

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

That sort of person is never a wise choice for forming a relationship, is it ? What you are describing amounts to emotional abuse. Unfortunate to be pregnant with a child by such a man. From the sound of it, explaining yourself to him is not only not something you deserve to be asked to do, but pointless, as he only wants to be suspicious and dissatisfied, however you explain.
Rathe discuss this with a group like POWA which can advise abused women, and seek to make a safe exit and a safe place for yourself and your child ; later perhaps he can be sued in the maintenance court to p;ay maintenance for the child. But he neds to know that his pattern of behaviour is unaceptable. But try not to discuss such issues during a crisis or argument, but in the calmest time you can find

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lebo | 2012-09-19

Thanks for the advise he cameby today at work and the phone was engaged when reception called me he said i was talkin to my boyfriend he came to ask for rent money for his place which i told him i can cont. paying as I am saving for baby.well after that all hell broke loose i just walked away i think i got my answer to just cut my loses.

Reply to Lebo
Posted by: Dorah | 2012-09-19

Hi Lebo, i think being silent will only make the situation worse, because he will think you trying to make him a fool by ignoring him or by not respondind to him means you not denying what ever he is accusing you of. I suggest you confront him when he is more calmer or seek proffesional help coz his jelousy can be dengerous to you and the baby. good luk

Reply to Dorah
Posted by: Maria | 2012-09-19

Ditch the guy, focus on your child and make a separate life for yourself.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012-09-19

That sort of person is never a wise choice for forming a relationship, is it ? What you are describing amounts to emotional abuse. Unfortunate to be pregnant with a child by such a man. From the sound of it, explaining yourself to him is not only not something you deserve to be asked to do, but pointless, as he only wants to be suspicious and dissatisfied, however you explain.
Rathe discuss this with a group like POWA which can advise abused women, and seek to make a safe exit and a safe place for yourself and your child ; later perhaps he can be sued in the maintenance court to p;ay maintenance for the child. But he neds to know that his pattern of behaviour is unaceptable. But try not to discuss such issues during a crisis or argument, but in the calmest time you can find

Reply to cybershrink

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