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Question
Posted by: Louise | 2010-02-22

Jehovah Witness boyfriend feedback

Dear Everybody
Sorry that my previous posting was so short and clinical. It was sent from the cellphone in the middle of the night and the phone limits the number of characters one can enter in any one posting.
Thank you for everybody''s feedback - there was value in each reply, something that I can work with and think about.
I was struggling with my husband for almost a year before meeting my lover, and spent tens of thousands on specialists to save my marraige.
As for the Jehovah Witnesses - I have met with a female Witness as one has to study under a female for a year, and she explained the religion to me as well as gave me a stack of literature to study. And I am just sorry - it is total crap. I would more easily believe in a real Santa Clause as in that religion. So I tried.
My lover only divulged to me that he was a Witness after we have slept together a number of times. So I am also confused about his commitment to his religion. But he made it very clear that we would never marry if I did not convert.
A funny thing happened since I got him in my life - I became calm and that terrible feeling of something that was missing in my life went away - and that has spilled over into my marraige. Suddenly my husband is a much better hubby to me and actually we have been getting on so well recently that maybe we are meant to stay together after all. I thought things could never improve, yet here now they did. And one of the reasons that my lover and I tried to break up is because of my dear husband - he saw him and feels his is such a decent guy, someone he could be friends with, and its so wrong of us to hurt him by my divorcing him. I think the most helpful answer was maybe from Sue. I look at my husband and I can''t imagine ruining his life with a divorce and all that flows from it. I learned such a lot from my Witness boyfriend, and he will always have a very special place in my heart. I am happy he came into my life when he did. If it wasn''t for him it could have been someone so different and dangerous when I was most vulnurable. So now that I am not so emotional as that night when I made the original posting I realise that it is for the better that he would not accept me. Things sometimes do happen for a reason I believe, even thought I am mostly agnostic.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Very interesting indeed - thanks for the feedback. Sounds like a happier ending all round than what was looming earlier. Sometimes things happen for reasons we don't understand, even if they don't necessarily involve God. Hope everything works out better all round

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Eish | 2010-02-23

You have to tell your husband!!! You can''t hide this from him because you are afraid of loosing him. You may, but you may not. At least give him a fair choice while he know the truth.

what happens when trouble starts again in a few weeks / months? Gonna jump with another guy into bed? You guys got some real issues &  you cant go on with life pretending that its all OK. its not. Start with the truth

Reply to Eish
Posted by: Rick | 2010-02-23

Tell us something, did you confess to your husband that you were unfaithfull and brought another man into your bed emotionally and physically?

do you feel guilt and shame for the lack of love and respect you showed to your husband?

If he found out about your dishonesty and cheating, what would he do or say.

If it were me, I would have dropped you like a hot potatoe.

I hope that you have the guts to give us an honest reply.

Regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: Louise | 2010-02-23

Thank you Angel. It is for the rare true angels like you and Sue that I turned to this forum. I think you are onto the essence of the problem here - that maybe the problem was WITHIN me after all and that I had to find happiness in myself. All the best to you all as well and thanks again for your wise words.

Reply to Louise
Posted by: Angel | 2010-02-23

Hi Louise. I commented on your 1st this morning. Good Luck and God Bless!

Reply to Angel
Posted by: not good | 2010-02-23

I was married to man for many years and I got a Jahovas witness to work for me as a nanny! It was like heaven! She was always happy and she always laughed. I loved it! But later she made like she was very innocent (she was a virgin). But my marriage went downhill because I always listened to her. I always thought everything that is according to her life is ok. She influenced me to do wrong stuff. She even admitted to me if she was not a Jahovas witness she woul''ve been a slut. So i had to do the slutting. And by way (we are the outsiders -worldly something like that.?) She had a very good friend and her current husband (that she has now) was stolen from her friend. And according Jahova you can never get divorced. Now she is stuck with ugly nearly sixty year old mand and she is only 32. She thought he had money! STUPID girl! it is a made up religion, be carefull!

Reply to not good
Posted by: Sue | 2010-02-22

That is great news. JW''s are tremendously trapped by their beliefs, and possibly you may have started a process that will help your friend in the future.Good luck with your marriage!

Reply to Sue
Posted by: Sue | 2010-02-22

That is great news. JW''s are tremendously trapped by their beliefs, and possibly you may have started a process that will help your friend in the future.Good luck with your marriage!

Reply to Sue
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-02-22

Very interesting indeed - thanks for the feedback. Sounds like a happier ending all round than what was looming earlier. Sometimes things happen for reasons we don't understand, even if they don't necessarily involve God. Hope everything works out better all round

Reply to cybershrink

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