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Question
Posted by: Fika | 2010/08/26

Jealousy or what

me and my girlfiend are involved for 5 years now, for the first 2years we were staying not far apart and then i got a job far away from home. we are now in a long distance relationship. i found out she was cheating on me 2 years ago and we worked things out, and again i find out early this year with another guy and we worked it out cause she said she loved me too much and she can''t loose me.

Now i have a problem trusting her that she even mentions it, i phone her every night and try to find out if she is at home or not. i have made a decision to marry her so she can be close to me, but i feind it very difficult to trust her. i love her more than anything else, as much as i am advised to leave her i can''t do it. i pray every night that she is able to be honest with me. do not get me wrong i am no saint i cheated too but never get caught. Do someone think we can make it through all this?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

No long-distance relationship is easy, especially if this situation continues for long.
If she has cheated twice despite promising not to do so, this doesn't look promising. These are two episodes of cheating you KNOW about, maybe there were more. ( Apparently she doesn't know you have cheated for instance ).
Its entirely understandable that you have difficulty trusting her. But I don' see how this situation can be solved while you are far apart. And marrying in order to get together, but without having resolved the issues isn't wise, either. Couples counselling could help, but wwould need you both to be in the same place at the same time, for a few sessions. Do you even get together if you could take leave at the same time ?

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Our users say:
Posted by: Danger | 2010/08/27

Fika leave her dude it does''nt worth it you will get hurt yes but time heals, i used to date this woman who cheated on me left right and center because i was blind and inlove with her i used to forgive her for everything she has does to me worst part is she even ended up cheating with my best friend, i actually lost my selfesteem, my advise if you truly want to be happy dump her she wont change and she''s just using you.

Reply to Danger
Posted by: happy | 2010/08/27

U dont buy respect from pick n pay or checkers, u earned it. People will respect u. With this type of life u are trying to do forget it. Maybe one day she will tell that she is pregnant and at the end to find out the baby is not even your''s. Good luck. She is not meant to be yours. She can c that u are an idiot that''s why she is treating u like that.

Reply to happy
Posted by: Me | 2010/08/26

Honestly ... you cheated on her, she cheated on you twice that you know of ... clearly you dont love one another enough to be together and you should end this relationship instead of getting married.

Reply to Me
Posted by: M& M | 2010/08/26

You are foolish to take her back, you are being used! It will never work and phoning her everyday gives her the impression that you need her. I''ll borrow you a rod and some bait, there are many fish in the sea.

Reply to M&amp M
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/08/26

No long-distance relationship is easy, especially if this situation continues for long.
If she has cheated twice despite promising not to do so, this doesn't look promising. These are two episodes of cheating you KNOW about, maybe there were more. ( Apparently she doesn't know you have cheated for instance ).
Its entirely understandable that you have difficulty trusting her. But I don' see how this situation can be solved while you are far apart. And marrying in order to get together, but without having resolved the issues isn't wise, either. Couples counselling could help, but wwould need you both to be in the same place at the same time, for a few sessions. Do you even get together if you could take leave at the same time ?

Reply to cybershrink

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