Posted by: tracey | 2008-11-12

Jealousy - help!


Please tell me how i can overcome jealousy.

My husband and I work full time and he wants us to send out little 6 month old to his mom during the day to take care of him. I am besides myself because we sent our puppy to her for a few weeks and years later you can still see that my dog still prefers his mom to me ( his mom used to spoil the puppy and i had to discipline it).

I am so worried that my baby will call her mom or will prefer being with her to me.

I boil when i think that she will get to see all his ' firsts'  - like hear his first word etc.

When she does look after him, she does not respect my instructions - such as feeding times and sleep times - and administering medications etc - she does her own thing then i am stuck with a baby that is up 4 times a night and cranky.

She treats him like her own son and it drives me insane! I would rather he call the nanny mom to her.

WHAT can i do????

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Nozi makes excellent sense. Don't be jealous of a tot, and don't exaggerate possible problems. He will call his grandmother whatever she calls herself and what you parents call her --- so pick a title and keep to it, and that's what the child will use. In a calm chat together, draw up a system of avoiding spoiling, and later ( 6 months is extremely young ) a common set of rules of acceptable behaviour, sothe child has consistency between homes.
You won't necessarily miss his milestones, which are as likely to happen when you are with him, as not.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Tracey | 2008-11-12

Thank you so much for all your advice!

Reply to Tracey
Posted by: Mommy | 2008-11-12

In all fairness to you, I see where youre coming from, and you are entitled as a mother, first time Mother I' m sure to feel the way you do, but you' ll see that the feelings of jealousy soon goes away, when you see how your son still after being with grandma the whole day, looks forward to seeing you, his Mommy when you fetch him. We call my MIL Mamma, ad when my son started talking, I tried very hard to make him call her Granny and not Mamma, because he calld me Mamma, and I didnt like it when he confused the two of us and called us both that, but as time went on, he is now 22 months, he started to differentiate, the calls her Mamma and he calls me Mommy, so dint worry too much, a child will always know and prefer his own mom to a gran or any caregiver got that matter, no matter how fond he is of them

Reply to Mommy
Posted by: Nozi | 2008-11-12

Yes it' s plain jealousy and also a teenie weenie bit immature.

I for one would' ve loved my mom in law to baby sit but never had one, firstly the child is loved and taken care of so what is your problem, a creche having so many children to take care off don' t give the one to one care and not to mention what the children come into contact with.

So what if she spoils him, she will take your place during the day which is what a child needs, a mother.

When he grows older you can slowly break him in.
Hope it makes sense.

Reply to Nozi

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