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Question
Posted by: Tigerlove | 2008/10/02

Jealousy and insecurities

Hi,

I need to stop being jealous its killing my relationship with my boyfriend.

How do I stop being jealous, how do I trust him... I have been so broken before that I' m destroying this coz of my insecurities, becoz of the past.... what must I do... :o( I' m pushing him away and its not him... its me so scared to let trust someone again..... why can' t my life just be better...

what else can I do and read .... please help me stop, I love this man... and he is innocent in this ...

My previous Boyfriend physically abused me and I' m so scare of open up and allowing myself to trust completely.

he chats on mxit and we meet there, but I' m so jealous of the woman on there, but they mean nothing to him, coz he loves me and I keep making a issue... how can I stop or I' m going to loss this man copmpletely.

thanking you in advance.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There's no simple formula I can give you in this telegraphic form. But see a good counsellor, of the CBT form, to work on the jealousy and related issues such as probably low self-esteem and trust. You may be applying to a nice bf bitter lessons learned from a previous abusive one.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: E.S. | 2008/10/03

CBT is Cocnitive Behavioural Thereapy. Of so iets. Dit gaan oor om eers jou denke te verander. Jou manier van ' n ding benader. Ek het my sielkundige daaroor gevra, want ek sukkel baie met dieselfde probleem as jy. Ek kan ook sien ek verwoes my verhouding met ' n wonderlike man omdat ek seergekry het in die verlede. Ek dink nie ek is mooi nie, al vertel hy dit vir my. Ek sien nie die rede om vir myself gelukkig te wees nie. Waarvoor? As ek gelukkig is gaan dit maak dat iemand lief gaan wees vir my? Gaan dit maak dat ek nie aleen oud word nie? My lewe draai altyd om ' n mansmens. Ek het nie vriende nie. So, as ek nie in ' n verhouding is nie, is ek altyd mislik en aleen. En dis verkeerd. Ek het nie my eie lewe wat inskakel by ' n man s' n nie. Die man se lewe word myne. Maar ek kry nie die krag bymekaar om te verander nie. Ek is bang as ek dit doen gaan ek in elk geval nie genoeg wees vir die man nie. Ek is ook jaloers. Ek gesels eerder met ' n hele groep mans, as wat ek met meisies gesels. Ek voel altyd minderwaardig. En dit alles het natuurlik ' n direkte invloed op die intieme dinge ook. Feit is, ek moet verander, maar ek weet nie hoe nie.

Reply to E.S.
Posted by: Tigerlove | 2008/10/02

Thank you EL.... I will try that....

I just want my life on track again.....

Reply to Tigerlove
Posted by: Tigerlove | 2008/10/02

Thank you Cybershrink.... you are so right and that not fair on him.

What does CBT form mean?

Can you reckomend one in the south of jhb?

Reply to Tigerlove
Posted by: sophia | 2008/10/02

Not knocking you for trying ... But just wanted to know if their magic formula had worked for you?

Im very against people making money off others misery buy selling advice that is either common sense or a load of bollocks.

Reply to sophia
Posted by: EL | 2008/10/02

You don' t have to buy it, you can subscribe and they will give you a few tips. And what' s wrong with wanting to help someone? Geez

Reply to EL
Posted by: sophia | 2008/10/02

EL .... You keep recommending these web sites where you need to BUY a manual to ' get your ex back'  or ' save your marriage'  ... Are you being serious???

Have you bought these? and have they saved your relationship?

Reply to sophia
Posted by: EL | 2008/10/02

Well, I' m glad you realize that you' re going to lose him if you continue with your jealousy. Just remember that everyone in life deserves a fair chance, we can not judge someone because of another person' s mistakes. The happier you are with yourself the happier your guy will be with you. You must learn to love yourself first. Be greatful that your boyfriend is still with you and you must work hard to turn it into the perfect relationship you want. Men like women who love themselves and women with pride. Show your man that you are happy with yourself and believe that no one can take him away from you. You can always look up " magic of making up"  or search for Cucan Pemo

Reply to EL

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