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Question
Posted by: Sue | 2012-12-05

Jealousy

Please help me to overcome my jealousy towards my finances ex-wife. They have been in daily contact recently regarding issues about their son (who is 30) and I find myself thinking that the more contact they have the greater the chance that they may rekindle old feelings? How do I get these thoughts out my mind. I have discussed it with him and he says he has no feelings towards her. And yet I keep wondering and being suspicious.

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Our expert says:
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How often this issue arises in this forum ! Surely one should expect any good man who cares about his child, to keep contact with the child and communicate with his ex about that - being an ex means this is no longer a committed relationship of love, but should not usually mean it has converted into a loathing with no contact at all. The more it has become a commonplace and ordinary the less likely it actually is to threaten your presen relaionship. To feel hugely threatened by him behaving normally and responsibly with regard to the child, suggests you may have personal issues of lack of self-confidence and self-esteem, that lead you to feel threatened by this.
This response would apply excellently if we were talking about a minor child aged 3.
But then you reveal that the son is 30.
Surely then his relationship with his ex should have been over some time ago, and SURELY a son of 30 is independent and leading his own life, and, if he should need help or advice from his father, he should be directly in contact with his dad, and not through the mother. This sounds distinctly odd. Is the young man in dreadful legal trouble, dying of some awful dread disease ? Or what ?
However, if their old feelings haven't been re-kindled by now, why would this process start at this late stage ?

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