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Question
Posted by: Jasmyn | 2010/11/04

Jealous of my sister

Hi

I met my current boyfriend thru my sister 2 months ago ..they work together. We are in love and all but he tells her things that he doesnt tell me and I end up finding out thru her telling me cos she thought i knew. I know they were friends before we met but still I just feel he connects with her on a level that he doesnt with me. Is it normal for me to feel this way? I am really not happy with the situation at all but I cant tell them to stop being friends.What do I do not to come across as insecure and jealous

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

It depends on what "things" he tells her and not you. If they're run-of-the-mill "friend" and office things, where's the problem ? If they're deep, intimate things from within your relationship with him, then this is indeed maladaptive.
Maybe you decided too soon that you were "in love" rather than good friends ?
Make it clear to him which things between you you want to be kept between you and not shared.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Kate | 2010/11/05

He is wrong in doing this in anycase and she is wrong for allowing him to confide in her about things regarding the 2 of you. Speak to him about it and make it clear that you are not happy about this.

Reply to Kate
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/05

It depends on what "things" he tells her and not you. If they're run-of-the-mill "friend" and office things, where's the problem ? If they're deep, intimate things from within your relationship with him, then this is indeed maladaptive.
Maybe you decided too soon that you were "in love" rather than good friends ?
Make it clear to him which things between you you want to be kept between you and not shared.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: jazz | 2010/11/04

tell him u wish to keep certain things between the two of u and this is important to u. as a girlfriend u now supercede any friendship they had so ur relationship is sacred.

Reply to jazz

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