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Question
Posted by: MOM | 2011-06-02

Jealous mom or what??

Hi Doc
I dont know if Im being a jealous mom and just over-reacting, or do I have reason to be concerned. My 3 year old- and the baby in the house - get more love and attention than any of the other 3 living with her ( myself, hubby and older sister). Dont get me wrong I love both my kids, but being the baby, she gets away with more and receives the most attention. What Ive noticed - probably out of jealously - is that whenever we have visitors ( we live in Pretoria and all our family is in the Cape - and they come visit us for a weekend or so) is that she clings to one of our visitors, to the extent that she rejects me completely. What is even more of a concern to me, is when its a male visitor that she clings to (which could even be a friend of the family). She even sometimes ignore me when I speak to her...is this normal?? Are we not giving her enough love....why does she prefer the comfort of others to that of her mother??

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Really young kids can be rather undiscriminating in their affections, and, for instance, when they don't have a lot of experience with other men in their lives, tend to conceptualize "men" as "daddy" and latch onto various stray males, without diminishing their love for dad at home.
And visitors with a novelty factor ( nopt someone she usually sees around the home ) will probably be more interesting than mom who she can look forward to seeing tonight and timorrow morning.
I doubt that this is about the child thinking any the less of you, rather than maybe a wee degree of weaker self-esteem on your side ?

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Laurie | 2011-06-02

My daughter did that and as she was my first born, I was terribly annoyed and perplexed. However, I found out about the " terrible two''s phase"  Contrary to its name it lasts between 2 and 5 years old, where they just do strange things and behave strangely in company and in general. Talking and shouting makes it worse. Ignore it at times, and yet on occasions, speak and reprimand where needed.

Reply to Laurie
Posted by: MOM | 2011-06-02

I do admit, I am a abit insecure - sometimes doubting myself as a good mother... and terribly jealous...thanks Doc, you have set my mind at ease a bit.

Reply to MOM
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-06-02

Really young kids can be rather undiscriminating in their affections, and, for instance, when they don't have a lot of experience with other men in their lives, tend to conceptualize "men" as "daddy" and latch onto various stray males, without diminishing their love for dad at home.
And visitors with a novelty factor ( nopt someone she usually sees around the home ) will probably be more interesting than mom who she can look forward to seeing tonight and timorrow morning.
I doubt that this is about the child thinking any the less of you, rather than maybe a wee degree of weaker self-esteem on your side ?

Reply to cybershrink

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