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Question
Posted by: Dania | 2011/08/17

Jealous

I have been seeing my partner for about 4 years now, I am terribly jealous over him, I hate it when he looks at other woman and often accuse him of wanting to be with someone who is everything I am not. I hate it when he compliments other woman and worry that he goes out he will meet someone else better than me. I often cause fights as a result of this. I know that the problem is with me and that this jealousy that I feel is nothing to do with him. I question him incessantly whether he really loves me or whether he really wants to be with me. I realise that this behaviour will destroy our relationship and I will only have myself to blame. I have been trying so hard to get over it but the feelings get so intense that it seems as though I just cannot control myself and will always end up saying something I regret. Can you give me any advise on how I can go about banishing these jealous feelings and give my man the love and acceptance that he deserves. Is jealousy something that can be solved?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

SO you apparently feel unreasonable insecure about yourself and your attractiveness, assuming that he would be keen to prefer to be with anyone else ( and of course, if that were true, why wouldn't he already be with them and not with you ? )As you know, this sort or assumption and the squabbles it leads to, kill relationships. Do see a personal counsellor to work on self-esteem and geting rid of this set of assumptions of jealousy. It can be solved, but may need a bit of work with that expert assistance, to get rid of it, for the sake of this and of any other, later relationship.
Man has a point, have you calmly discussed with this guy your concerns about committment and whether the pair of you share the same expectations for the future ?

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: Johannah | 2011/09/15

Big help, big help. And superlative news of cosure.

Reply to Johannah
Posted by: tuscan | 2011/08/17

That is an excuse he is using to buy time, most guys likewhen their lady is jealous,it kinda shows just how much youlove him!!

Reply to tuscan
Posted by: Dania | 2011/08/17

yes we have been dating for 4 years, I have discussed this with him and he has told me that under no circumstances will he commit unless I solve this problem. He has told me that he would commit if it wasn`t for the jealousy.

Reply to Dania
Posted by: Man | 2011/08/17

You have been SEEING him for 4 years but he has not commited to you in marriage/propsal.
You are showing jealousy because you are insicure. If he hasnt commited in 4 years he is not going to!
Time to move on ................

Reply to Man
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/17

SO you apparently feel unreasonable insecure about yourself and your attractiveness, assuming that he would be keen to prefer to be with anyone else ( and of course, if that were true, why wouldn't he already be with them and not with you ? )As you know, this sort or assumption and the squabbles it leads to, kill relationships. Do see a personal counsellor to work on self-esteem and geting rid of this set of assumptions of jealousy. It can be solved, but may need a bit of work with that expert assistance, to get rid of it, for the sake of this and of any other, later relationship.
Man has a point, have you calmly discussed with this guy your concerns about committment and whether the pair of you share the same expectations for the future ?

Reply to cybershrink

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