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Question
Posted by: Purple | 2010-07-08

James Dobsons books

Dear CS,

Hope you are well.

A friend lent me Dr James Dobsons book Raising Boys, which I" ve heard recommended by so many people, but which I''d just never felt compelled to buy and read.
He makes some really valid points about children and boys in particular, their behaviour, how to get through to them when talking, dealing with their energy levels, motivating them, about classroom settings and so on, however, there is such a homophobic theme throughout the book I don''t know how anyone can take what he says too seriously, it so undermines the intelligence of other things said in the book. It comes across that he feels there is some sort of homosexual conspiracy to attract people to " their"  cause.
Do you think people perhaps are just skimming through what he has written and that has been why his book is so well recommended, or do most people just not question such nonsense, or do they just overlook the complete hogwash and focus on the things he says that do appear to be true about life? (though personally I feel that everything else in the book is tainted by the warped and fearful view he holds of the world).

Or am I just odd for asking these questions when everyone else seems to think his books are so brilliant?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hi Purple one,
I have not come across this guy's book(s), but if he has a homophobic agenda or the sort of false and harmful paranoid ideas about homosexuality as you seem to have found in his book, I would find it impossible to recommend him.
Maybe there is some good advice in their on discipline, which he may have derived from the views and writings of others. Hardly anyone manages to write an entirely original book of new discoveries.
His unscientific and prejudiced views may be related to religious views - which is fine when one is overtly discussing religion, but not fine when it is masquerading as science of professional medical or psychological advice. Interesting how often it seems to be those who hold conspiracy theories who are actually conspiring, rather than those they accuse.

His Neanderthal and unscientific views on this remind me of the famous graffiti recorded on a wall in London. Someone has written " MY Mother Made me a Homosexial" And underneath, someone else had written : "How nice ! If I gave her the wool, would she knit me one, too ? "

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Our users say:
Posted by: Nic | 2010-07-14

I''m all for him! He''s a God-sent.....wish you could see that and have you and your children reap the benefits! Enjoy! We do.

Reply to Nic
Posted by: Purple | 2010-07-08

Thanks Maria and Anon for the suggestions for others. I have read a Steve Biddulph book on bullying that I found really good.

Sad that he is giving Christians a bad name with his conspiracy theories. Conspiracy theories always leave a little taste of crack pot.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Anon | 2010-07-08

Yip, I''m afraid I agree - totally homophobic and no doubt underpinned by his Christian leanings. Unfortunately it entirely spoilt the book for me and I could read no further, not because I thought he did not have anything valid to offer but because I prefer to receive advice from a more open minded theoretical perspective. Steve Biddulph has also written a brilliant and easy-to-read book by the same title, Raising Boys and the parenting books by Faber and Mazlish are fantastic.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: Maria | 2010-07-08

If you''re looking for parenting books, I also quite like Kevin Leman.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Purple | 2010-07-08

Thanks Maria, that does make sense.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Maria | 2010-07-08

A certain section of Christians agree with his views and will therefore embrace all of his message. Take what makes sense to you and discard the rest.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-07-08

Hi Purple one,
I have not come across this guy's book(s), but if he has a homophobic agenda or the sort of false and harmful paranoid ideas about homosexuality as you seem to have found in his book, I would find it impossible to recommend him.
Maybe there is some good advice in their on discipline, which he may have derived from the views and writings of others. Hardly anyone manages to write an entirely original book of new discoveries.
His unscientific and prejudiced views may be related to religious views - which is fine when one is overtly discussing religion, but not fine when it is masquerading as science of professional medical or psychological advice. Interesting how often it seems to be those who hold conspiracy theories who are actually conspiring, rather than those they accuse.

His Neanderthal and unscientific views on this remind me of the famous graffiti recorded on a wall in London. Someone has written " MY Mother Made me a Homosexial" And underneath, someone else had written : "How nice ! If I gave her the wool, would she knit me one, too ? "

Reply to cybershrink

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